Ranma's fused loops
by Tornado Ninja Fan
Summary: For unknown reasons Ranma's life is repeating over and over again. Attempting to escape he and others accidentally create repeats that are changed in bizarre ways or fused with other universes. Based on the "Time Loops" by Innortal. Ch.6: nextWAVE!
1. Fubared Loops

I am using the opportunity of a new chapter to sort the loops a bit. The numbers show the order in which the loops were written.

**Disclaimer:** This is a work of fanfiction written as a homage to the original works. No claim of ownership of Ranma 1/2 or other copyrighted works is intended.

**Ranma's FUBARed Loops**

**1**

Ranma couldn't stand it anymore. Not only did he discover that this time he was a girl cursed to become a boy, but this...

"Your problem's not so bad," said Soun, patting him - since he was currently in his "cursed" form - on the back, "these are my three sons: Mousse, age 19, Tatewaki, age 17, and Ryoga, age 16. Pick one and he will be your fiancé."

Yes, it was definitely loop-restarting time.

**

* * *

9**

Ranma had learned a great many things during the time-loops and most of them had been a secret to him in his original life, either because they had been deliberately hidden or simply because he hadn't noticed them before. One of the latter secrets was Kasumi's intense dislike of lizards. There was no great mystery or horrible personal experience behind this, she simply didn't like how they looked and how they moved. When she saw one she would lose her normal composure and chase it ruthlessly out of the house and then return to her angelic behavior. The other Tendos knew about this little quirk and didn't care for it, it was simply as Kasumi had always been. For Ranma on the other hand it was an inspiration.

* * *

Destruction reigned as Godzilla trampled down the streets of north-eastern Tokyo. The main character of dozens of movies, manga and anime – normally portrayed by a man in a rubber suit – was suddenly all too real and left chaos and ruins in its wake. Reporters and officials were baffled, but it seemed that everyone had been able to evacuate when they saw the 300 feet tall monster coming from miles away walking in a straight line - only avoiding the skyscrapers like any other animal avoiding stone spires in its way. The army didn't dare to use its heavy weaponry in the middle of the city and waited for it to arrive in an unpopulated area.

The martial artists of Nerima weren't defeated but had been thoroughly ignored when the giant simply walked through their attacks. They were frustrated but glad that the monster had seemingly decided to be content to merely march through the city and only destroy the things it stepped on like the biggest and clumsiest drunk tourist ever. But then the monster had suddenly sniffed the air, shrieked in triumph and bowed down. The martial artists realized what had been at the end of the monster's path: Right under its maw was the Tendo Dojo! Akane fervently hoped that Kasumi had left the house, Soun and Genma feared for the future of the training hall and Nabiki – observing via telescope from outside the city – hoped that her martial artist proof safe was also Godzilla proof and if not, whom could she sue?

The martial artists ran there as fast as they could, Ranma was even carrying Akane because he knew she would protest if he wouldn't let her help her sister, and arrived just in time to be stopped by a deafening noise and to see the giant monster hurtling away. Judging by its trajectory, it wouldn't just fall into the Bay of Tokyo where it had appeared but directly into the Pacific Ocean! Just when the shock had worn off, they saw Kasumi running out of the garden, her hair slightly disheveled and an old dented frying pan in her hand.

"Is the lizard gone?" Kasumi asked. "Did I get it?" The others dumbly nodded. Kasumi straightened herself and her clothes smiling in her usual way. "Oh, that's nice. Would you like to come inside? I made some cookies."

For the rest of the day there were a lot of questions in everyone else's heads: Was Kasumi trained in the lizard-fist? Was her frying pan a ki-weapon? Did Godzilla come here for her cookies? And would it return for them? They all independently decided to walk very softly around her from now on.

Ranma meanwhile had a different mental tally:

One trained lizard to agitate Kasumi at the right time – 20,000 yen.

One fake giant invulnerable (and invisible to Kasumi) lizard created with magic – 30,000,000,000 yen in spell components.

The look on their faces – priceless.

**

* * *

10**

It was for once a quiet evening, and the Tendo sisters were sitting in the living room. Akane and Kasumi watched the Martial Arts Cooking game show and enjoyed their tea, while Nabiki examined some of her photos. After a while she noticed that the show was interrupted for ads and decided to ask her sisters for their opinions.

"Hey, you two. What do you make of this." She handed them three of the examined pictures.

"It looks like a shot of the apartment complex east of the school. That part looks like the corner of the school building." Akane said. "What about it?"

"And this is a car in front of the entrance of Nekomimi Park." Kasumi added. "I don't know much about cars, but I think it could be a Corollary."

"That's Corolla." Akane corrected. She peeked over to have a look at the car in question. "But it looks more like an Accord."

"Oh, well, it's an Accord, then. The shot was ruined anyway."

"That's true. And the car is too blurred, so you can't use it for anything." Akane picked up the third picture. "That's the corner of Doragon's Jewelry shop. Looks like you caught someone using a Ki technique. Too bad she was behind the corner."

"A Ki technique?" Kasumi asked interested.

"See? There is this oval yellow light above the gloved hand." Akane explained. "Did you see who it was? I haven't heard of any martial artist wearing gloves in Nerima."

"It looks like a girl's hand."

"I know, but even Kodachi isn't using gloves, so that doesn't help."

"Maybe they are magic gloves. It could be Shampoo."

"Why would she use magic gloves, when everyone can use moves like the shi shi hokodan? And the Amazons should have whole libraries with normal ki moves."

"Everyone can use them, Akane-chan?"

"Yeah! See? Shi shi hokodan!" Akane made the necessary gestures and a very small ball of sickly green energy came out of her hands flying slowly through the air, before it harmlessly dispersed in the middle of the room.

"That was impressive. A wonderful show of control, Akane-chan!" Kasumi beamed.

"Oh, I wasn't depressed at all, that's why it was so small. I am still looking for a variant that I can use, but I don't know which emotion to use. It has to be a very strong emotion and I don't have one."

Her elder sisters let that comment hang in the air and then they both decided that it could stay there.

"Haven't you noticed anything in the other two photos?" Nabiki asked to get the conversation back on track and pointed out a detail in the first picture: "Like that boot?" And then the second picture: "And that head?"

"Well, it's a red bootee with white stripes on the top. And the wearer is running behind the school building." Kasumi answered. "I don't see why it's important, except that it ruins the shot. Not as obvious as the accordeon." "Accord." Akane corrected and Kasumi continued: "The Accord in the other picture, but that's it."

"Did you want to photograph the person in front of the park and the car ruined the shot?" Akane asked.

"Yes, do you recognize the haircut?" Nabiki urged her.

"No, I don't even know any blondes."

"Me neither. My classmate Heiko used to dye her hair, but she stopped last year." Kasumi added.

"And the hairstyle?"

"Pigtails with buns at the top… " Kasumi paused. "I have seen that before, but I just can't put my finger on it…"

"And if you combine that with red boots and white gloves, what do you get?" Nabiki asked impatiently.

"Ooooh. Now I get it!" Akane exclaimed. "She's a Sailor Moon cosplayer. And she is a martial artist with a ki attack. She must be famous!. That's why you made photos of her."

"No! I made photos of her because I think she's Ranma!"

"Ranma?" Akane blinked incredulously. "You mean Ranma is a cosplayer?"

"No, I mean Ranma is Sailor Moon!"

Akane stared at her for a moment and then she burst out laughing. Even Kasumi began to giggle behind her hand. After a while Akane quieted down and wiped the tears out of her eyes.

"That's a good one. Mr. Macho is really the greatest crybaby in anime." She giggled again at the thought of Ranma falling on his knees crying streams of tears.

"I am serious." Nabiki insisted.

"Nabiki-chan," Kasumi said with a wide smile while Akane continued to giggle, "you know that Sailor Moon is a fictional character while Ranma is quite real, even though he is somewhat of a magical girl."

Akane burst out laughing again. "Magical girl!" She howled. "I get it!" Then she was lying on the floor helpless with laughter.

"Then how do you explain this!" Nabiki threw another photo on the table.

Still trying to get a hold of herself, Akane picked it up and Kasumi looked over her shoulder. "Well, that's Ranma's study group. Mineko, Amiki, Reine, and Machi. Yuka has left the group last month and she said he had never tried anything. And it works! His grades are really getting better." But she would never admit that she had asked Yuka to join the group to check on her fiancé, just in case he was bold enough to try and seduce four girls at once.

"Haven't you heard those names before?"

"Of course, I've known them since middle school. They've even been here for some of my birthday parties. Amiki even tried to become a martial artist and joined some beginner's classes." Akane thought about it. "She became a ballet dancer instead."

"That's not what I meant. I am talking about Minako, Ami, Rei, and Makoto."

"I don't know any…" Akane hesitated. "Those are the names of the other sailor senshi, right?"

"The names seem similar, but do they have anything else in common?" Kasumi asked and Nabiki reluctantly shook her head.

"But I've seen her fighting monsters! And Ranma is always coming from the fights!" Nabiki insisted.

"Monsters?" Akane asked. "That's the first time I've heard of any monsters in Nerima. Except for Taro, of course. And the time Mr. Saotome fought Happosai."

"Oh my. Do you have any photos of the monsters, Nabiki-chan?"

"No." Nabiki admitted. "But I've seen them!"

"And why has nobody else seen them?" Akane asked. "Are you sure you haven't dreamed them?"

"Of course I am sure!"

"Then why is this the first time I've heard of them? I haven't even heard of that cosplayer before and someone with her own ki attack has to be famous as a martial artist."

"I haven't heard of any monsters in Nerima either, Nabiki-chan."

"But…"

"Were there any remains of the monster on the scenes of the fight?"

"No."

"Any damages to the area?"

"No, everything was in order."

"Any proof at all?"

"No, but-"

Kasumi sighed. "Maybe you are working too hard in school. All of these dates and letters to your former dates and betting and selling photos of Ranma and everything else…" Kasumi sighed again. "You really should stop some of your activities and get some rest."

"I guess you're right Kasumi." Nabiki admitted. "But I am going to find that cosplayer." She stood up and made to leave. "I will go and get some sleep. Good night."

"Good night, Nabiki."

"Good night, Nabiki-chan."

After Akane had heard the door to Nabiki's room closing she turned to her sister. "Do you think she will be all right?"

"I sure hope so, Akane-chan. But we have to be patient with her now."

* * *

Hidden behind the kitchen door, Ranma grinned. His plan to discredit Nabiki was working perfectly. Amazing what you could do with a couple of cardboard cutouts and thin threads. He would never mock Martial Arts Puppetry again! Now he had to motivate her to order her factors to search for Sailor Moon and her monsters to make her look ridiculous in their eyes, too. A battle in front of her open window and a "Moon Tiara" flying in and out of her room should work. He had just to make sure there was no film in Nabiki's camera…

* * *

AN: This is a normal Ranma universe loop, Sailor Moon is a fictional character in their universe. I should have used a different magical girl to avoid confusion, but I don't know much about other ones.

**

* * *

1****2**

Ranma was bored and had no idea what to do in this loop. So he broke into the Kuno Mansion and lounged in front of their giant plasma screen TV and surfed channels at random. He had stopped going to school regularly a long time ago, he would just send a clone from a magic mirror instead.

Obviously, it wasn't a clone from the first mirror he had encountered, but rather one that had belonged to a diligent pupil who had obsessively made sure that his uniform was straight before he went to school. The only downsides of this arrangement were that his clone always had a painstakingly neat uniform and Ranma had to be in school in person when Principal Kuno came back, otherwise his clone would be at the wrong side in the fight against the haircut regulations. The Tendo sisters were really angry at him the one time that had happened.

After hours of zapping he finally got interested in a kids anime. It had fighting, not in a way he was used to, but he could imagine playing with those rules. It had monsters, but even Akane, hell, even the members of the Furinkan Chemistry Club could beat them. Everybody in school should know the anime and its rules. And he had a couple of ideas how to create the monsters with various magic artifacts, plants from Yaocaicun and water from Ryugenzawa. And best of all, he had an idea how to blame someone else for the coming disaster. He probably wouldn't be able to pin the blame on Nabiki. But it was worth trying.

* * *

Three busy months later he was once again walking to school with his reluctant fiancée. This time it was really him, since he knew what was coming and didn't want to miss one second of it. Arriving at the school, he saw Tatewaki Kuno waiting at the gates after two months of absence. He heard Akane muttering that she had not missed the idiot's posturing at all.

"Surely, the vengeance of heaven is like the millstone." The upperclassman announced. "Slow, but it grinds finely. The time is nigh for your final reckoning, fowl sorcerer!"

"But I don't even like chicken!" Ranma protested.

"Do not try to confuse me, vial enslaver of women!"

"I am not doing anything with glasses, either!" Ranma just shook his head. "So what do you reckon today?"

"Bah! Now you even dare to defile the beauty of our heavenly language? Your villainy knows no bounds!" Kuno straightened himself. "But enough of this banter! I will have you known that after long and arduous meditations I have found the true weapon to defeat you once and for all! The fates were at my side and sent me the travelers who would let me purchase those weapons from their armory! And after zealous training the travelers deemed me able to wield those arms and praised me for my intelligence." He took a breath and continued in a stage whisper. "The honorable masters of the venerable art of Kendo will forgive me abandoning the august sword for this noble pursuit."

In one movement he ripped of his normal kendo uniform to reveal normal clothes. Light blue Jeans, a blue vest with short white sleeves and a black T-shirt, white and blue patterned sneakers, and a red and white cap with a green L in front. Everybody wondered how he had put on the sneakers since he was barefoot just a moment before.

He took a red and white ball from his belt and threw it in front of him.

"I CHOOSE YOU, PIKACHU!"

The ball opened and a yellow dog-sized creature with a zigzagged tail appeared in a flash of light.

"Pikachu! Thundershock!" Kuno yelled and the creature generated a lightning that nearly struck a barely escaping Ranma. Ranma then simply jumped at Kuno and kicked him in the face.

"That didn't hurt." Kuno stated and fell down to the ground where he remained unconscious.

'Phase 1 complete.' Ranma thought.

It had taken him a month to find the artifacts he needed to create those critters. They would simply stop after a year and couldn't have any offspring. The hardest part was telling his derivative mirror clones – created by using some funhouse mirrors with a cursed mirror – that they had to teach Kuno. Six year olds could play the game after fifteen minutes. It took his clones two months to teach Kuno to throw the balls and yell the attacks in real life. After their return, Ranma's clones demanded that he destroy them, they couldn't live with the memory of Kuno's speeches.

Ranma turned around to study the reactions of the other students. They stared at the little creature which was now walking around aimlessly. Soon someone should start the chaos whith a cry of fear.

"Omygawsh! It's so cute!" Yelled one of the girls closest to it. She crouched down and began to pet it. Soon she was joined by the other girls on the court. Ranma walked a bit closer and was noticed by one of the girls. She scampered over to him with bright happy eyes.

"Thank you so much for not hurting Pikachu!" She said with her hands held in front of her chest and quickly returned to pet the little monster. Many of the other girls followed her and agreed with the sentiment, some even hugging him. He took a look at his fiancée and was shocked to the core. Akane was smiling at him while the other girls gushed over him.

"Hey! Kuno might have more pokemon!" Came a voice from the heap of girls.

"Yeah! He should have six!" Agreed a different girl.

"Let's go and get them!"

During the time-loops, Ranma had seen a host of incredible things. But this was the first time that he saw girls running to Kuno and piling on him. There was the sound of five pokeballs opening and the girls were looking at a Bulbasaur, a Charmander, a Squirtle, a Pidgey and a Rattata.

A lot of squealing noises came from the girls who began to pet the other pokemon. Some of them took out their bentos and began to feed the little creatures while Ranma and the other boys looked on.

"What do you think will they do when they realize they can't keep them?" Hiroshi asked.

"Not much. It's not like they never had to give up a cute animal before." Daisuke answered. "The question is rather what will they do to Kuno when they find out he will keep using them to attack Ranma?"

'Things are definitely not following my plan.' Ranma thought. 'Time for phase 2.'

He pushed the button of a small transmitter in his pocket. The students heard the noise of a truck braking and saw it colliding sideways with the wall of the schoolyard. The container on it – marked with the sign of the Kuno clan - began to topple sideways and the students ran out of its way. When the container hit the ground, its roof opened and red and white patterned metal balls spilled on the grounds.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" Exclaimed Daisuke who could apparently understand what was happening.

Once again they heard the sound of a pokeball opening and an Ekans appeared. Then they heard the sound twice again and a Sandshrew and a Clefairy appeared. Then they heard it again four times. Six times. Eight. Fifteen. Thirty.

The smarter students began to run, dragging others with them. Soon the grounds were empty of humans – except for the still unconscious Kuno, but who cares about him?

Fifteen minutes later the sounds of the pokeballs had stopped. The students had seen from the windows that most of the pokemon had left when the grounds filled and the rest of the small monsters seemed to quiet down now. Some of the more courageous students went back to the grounds to accompany and protect their girlfriends who still wanted to pet the pokemon.

* * *

Nine months later, just before the end of the loop, Ranma thought about what had happened.

'Well, that plan was a complete disaster. Nobody is using their pokemons to fight and everyone is okay with it. Except for Kuno, who went to jail for copyright infringement and cruelty to animals because he had kept them in the little pokeballs. And for playing god. They really surprised me with that one during that loop when they caught me creating the Dragonballs.

'And Nabiki hasn't even made one yen from all of this and when she suggested some kind of Arena fights she was pelted with pokefeces.' Ranma smiled at that thought. That stuff really lingered and Kasumi had made her sleep in a tent outside. 'Well, I think I know what went wrong. Next loop I will use Digimon!'

**

* * *

14**

Ranma had decided to start this loop quietly. He simply fought Akane like he did in the original timeline, but exclusively with the basic moves he had learned in his loop with Kenshin, and avoided meeting her in the bathroom. A simple recipe for a nice stay with the Tendos. It nearly felt like a holiday. A quick bath later he decided that in this loop he would join his father in the living room, where he found the part-time panda talking with Mr. Tendo.

"There you are." Genma said and looked intensely at Ranma. "Follow me to the guest room, boy."

Ranma was a bit confused by that. He had expected his father making him wait for the Tendos in the room. When they arrived in the guest room, Genma closed the door and scrutinized his son again.

"What's the matter, pops?" Ranma demanded impatiently.

"You can't fool me, boy. You know what the matter is. We're one year in the past and you're not surprised at all. So, how did you do it and what for? We're two weeks too late to break the curse and you know you can't break the engagement with the Tendos anymore. It's a matter of honor!"

Ranma grimaced. Another one of his nightmares had come true, his father had started looping. Well, no nice stay at the Tendos this time. He simply knocked him out and moved to the hidden city of martial arts beach bums to relax from the shock.

**

* * *

1****6**

One of the earlier loops:

Ranma walked down the street to the cinema to watch one of his favorite movies. He hadn't watched it for a couple of loops now, so it should be fairly interesting again. Then he noticed a familiar face among the pedestrians.

"I challenge you, Ranma Saotome!" Gasped the overweight young man in a suit that was bursting to fit.

"Sure, but you know after all your losses you should owe me a fair bit. Or bite." Ranma smirked.

"This is a matter of reputation. Do not dare to joke!" Picolet Chardin rang a bell and once again waiters appeared to put a table in the middle of the boardwalk and began to serve a meal.

Fifteen minutes later the random audience of the duel began to applaud as Ranma emptied his plate once again just in time before Picolet could finish his food.

"No!" The young Chardin yelled. "I can't accept this! One more time!" He suddenly paled and held his hand over his mouth. He sweated profusely and whispered. "Please excuse me. I have to visit the bathroom."

'He probably has to puke.' Thought Ranma. 'Has nobody told him about the technique of the Pate du Foie Gras yet? They should have figured it out after he started to gain weight. Well, not my problem. The guy is annoying but the food is really great. Of course I only get about a tenth of it, but it's still all good. Maybe I should put a fridge or something to keep the food warm into my ki-pocket. Nah, it would just get too dry.'

For the last three months the young man has challenged Ranma at every opportunity after he had lost during their initial encounter and had not even bothered to visit the Tendos yet.

The next day it looked like Monsieur Chardin had ordered his son to fulfill his original task and the young Frenchman presented the agreement to the Tendos. It looked very much like Kasumi had to bite the bullet since she was such a good cook and Ranma just couldn't leave her to that fate, even if it was just to save her near perfect figure from the involuntary diet at the Chardins.

"I challenge you, Picolet Chardin."

"I accept, Ranma Saotome." He pulled out the little bell, but before he could ring it, Ranma grabbed his hand.

"Since I challenged you, I think we will do this on my terms." Ranma grinned savagely. "Just like you do, n'est-ce pas?"

"Eh, naturellement, Monsieur Ranma." Picolet answered feeling very unsure of himself.

"Please follow me into the dojo."

Once there he took position.

"We will fight according to the rules of the Anything Goes school of martial arts. The last one on his feet is the winner. Understood?"

"Yes, but what…"

"Then let's begin!"

A jump and a kick to the head later, Ranma was the winner. He got a sheet of paper and a pen and began to write. Five minutes later Picolet woke up.

"Ah, finally. I was afraid I had to add to the bill." Ranma said in a mock-concerned tone.

"Bill? What bill?"

"This bill." Ranma said and gave his victim, er, opponent the piece of paper.

Picolet Chardin began to read and burst out: "Use of dojo? Cleaning clothes? Cleaning the dojo? Sleeping in the dojo? Is this a joke?"

"Of course not. Do you think such a beautiful training hall is free?"

"But this amount… I can't afford this!"

"Well, I am ready to deal. How about one meal for everyone in the Tendo house daily and you give me the contracts with the Tendos and the Saotomes."

"That could ruin us!" Picolet began to sweat. "How about the contracts, one meal for everyone in the Tendo house and an engagement contract with my first-born daughter?"

Ranma thought about that. If he escaped from the loops this time, he might be able to threaten his future son with this. He grinned evilly. That sounded like so much fun! "Agreed!"

* * *

AN: I think it's been established that looping Ranma isn't exactly sane.


	2. Fused Loops

**Ranma's Fused Loops**

AN: The time-loops were started on the Naruto forum of the TFF. Regularly participating series are: Bleach, Harry Potter, Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha, Naruto, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Ranma 1/2, Sailor Moon and Star Wars.

**

* * *

2**

"If I ever need to prove in court that these time-loops are out to get me," thought Ranma with a twitching eyebrow, "I will present this loopiverse as exhibit M."

"It's good to finally meet you, Ranma!" Exclaimed a happy Soun Tendo. "May I introduce my daughters? These are Brittany, age 19, Yugito, age 17, and Nuku-Nuku, age 16. Choose one and she will be your fiancée"

Ranma was glad to have spent several loops learning to control his fear the best way: Fighting a master of Martial Arts Psychology. Well, it was the best way for him. "Maybe I will use this to teach Pops the Catgirl-Fist." He mused.

* * *

AN: Brittany Diggers from Gold Diggers

Yugito Nii from Naruto

Nuku-Nuku from All-Purpose Cultural Catgirl Nuku-Nuku

[Nekomimi-Ken = Catgirl-Fist.]

**

* * *

3**

Ranma had learned how to alleviate the boredom of the time-loops. When he didn't have a new idea how to get out of the loops, he would just pick a book from the library at random and try to create a martial arts style using its underlying principles. Of course there were failures like Martial Arts Botany which was only useful fighting flesh-eating plants, but at least Kodachi was quite enamored of it and very… grateful. He was still proud of Martial Arts Dentistry. The look on Ryoga's face when he first used it was priceless. And when he started the drill Ryoga ran squealing like a little piggy even without activating his Jusenkyo curse.

This time he found a book on nuclear physics and he was soon distracted by thinking about applying it to ki and the nature of ki, compared to atoms. Was ki made of particles? Why was depression ki heavy? Why did proud ki rise? Would some emotions combine like molecules? Would others cancel each other out? Skipping some chapters he found an illustration that inspired him. He didn't even bother to read the description, because he got an idea and thought it was finally time to DO something.

For his idea to work he needed a large amount of depression ki sitting in one place and that at least was very easy to arrange. While he developed the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts Ice Hockey, he had found that ice would stop depression ki from sinking into the ground. Now he only needed a place with lots of ice.

Antarctica was nice this time of the year.

Using the perfect form of the Hibiki School of Traveling Salesman, he arrived on the Ross Ice Shelf two hours later and to create some depression ki he thought of his situation. Being stuck in the time-loops with no way out, eternally meeting his friends and family as a stranger, losing his relationships to the ravages of this uncaring phenomenon, the hopelessness of it all… Whoa! He had nearly lost himself there and he was duly impressed seeing nothing but sickly green ki lying on the once pristine ice. He was quite proud of himself, but decided to send only the tiniest possible stream of light pride ki into the heavy mass to create this "chain reaction" thing.

As he did so, his whole vision suddenly went whiter than ever before and his last thought was: "Maybe I overdid it."

* * *

Then he found himself sitting in a train and looking at a photo of a purple-haired woman with a couple of lewd comments written on it. Judging by the arrangements of the seats in the wagon it seemed to be a commuter train, empty except for a lanky boy in a white shirt and black trousers sitting opposite and staring at him. He had a good idea what was going on and briefly wondered if all fused loops would start in trains. At least the setting suggested a world that had technology for regular hot baths.

Finally, the boy jumped up, pointing at him. "You! Who are you? Do you know what's going on? Are you… are you… repeating, too?" He finished weakly.

"Yep. My name's Ranma Saotome." He scratched the back of his head and smiled. "I don't know why the loops happen but I think I know how I got here." Ranma hesitated. "Wherever here is."

"This is the train to Tokyo-3. My name is Shinji Ikari." The other boy made to shake Ranma's hand and, trying to be polite, Ranma let go of the photo which fell to the ground. After the handshake he moved to pick it up but another couple of photos followed from his lap.

"Here, let me." The newly introduced Shinji picked up the first one. "Hey, it's Misato! Are you going to work for NERV, too?" Picking up the rest of the set he was surprised. "And Shigeru!" After reading the comments on the second photo he looked strangely at Ranma. "I thought Aoba liked girls…" Taking the next photo he commented, "Asuka's father and some guy in a ratty gi," squinting his eyes to have a better look at the photo he continued, "and I think the German words on that paper mean arranged marriage …" The next photo confused him, "Some pre-school kids..." until he noticed a detail. "Ah! I think it's Horaki-chan and you. Would you look at that, she already wanted to be class rep back then. And a pic of you and Toji fighting!"

Ranma groaned. He knew where this was going and hoped working for this NERV company wasn't as nerve-racking as life in Nerima.

* * *

AN: Innortal originally introduced the NGE pilots in a Hogwarts fused loop and Ranma apparently knew them from the show, not from a personal encounter.

There are of course a lot of NGE/Ranma crossovers, I hope that this fusion is halfway original. (Shigeru Aoba as Tatewaki Kuno, Asuka as Akane, Horaki as Ukyo, Toji as Ryoga.)

**

* * *

4**

"So, you mean I've got some funky strange powers, because I was born that way, Mister Picard?" Ranma asked the bald man.

"Yes, you are what is commonly called a mutant. And my name is Professor Charles Xavier." Answered the man in the floating wheelchair. He had no idea how the young man could have misheard his name like that. "If you would just hold your hand on this device until the light turns green, then we can find out which power you have. It will send the relevant data to Cerebro, a computer specifically built to find mutants and identify their powers, and we should have the answer inside of a few moments."

Ranma put his hand on the colorful box and expected some kind of shock or sting, but didn't feel anything when the light turned green. He was really satisfied with his progress in the Martial Arts and thought he could easily deal with anybody in this weird fused loop, but it was always nice to have a surprise for pig-boy and the rest of his rivals, including that weird new kid in his school. During his travels he had noticed that nearly all Japanese were nationalistic, but that Yoshida Shiro guy took the cake and the rest of the bakery!

Prof. Xavier read the results and looked at the small animation that accompanied them. When he had begun to recruit the X-Men to teach them nonviolent ways to deal with their powers and people with prejudices, he had to hire a game design studio for Cerebro's graphic interface. He didn't like some of the results of this business decision, because some of the various short action movies illustrating the powers looked childish. His students on the other hand were quite happy about it since it gave them a starting point to imagine the use of their powers.

He wasn't happy about these newest results from Cerebro, either. His students always wanted powers that either had visible effects to impress their peers, or powers that could be used in a fight. He understood that, even though he preferred to use his telepathic powers to defuse situations before things became violent or stop fights with his nearly irresistible mental commands. He always urged his students to use their powers in imaginative ways instead of blasting their way through problems, especially if their powers were destructive in nature like Cyclops' optic power blasts. His newest possible student wouldn't even have that problem.

He looked at the eager face and prepared himself to disappoint the Japanese boy. He knew what this situation looked like for every teenaged kid. He came here with his supersonic jet, hovering wheelchair and team of super-powered people to tell the chosen one he wanted to recruit him to save the world with his unique magic powers. And now he would tell this boy he never had to worry about cold coffee or warm cola again.

"As I've explained, the power distribution is quite random and even first generation mutants can end up with abilities that could literally change the world. On the other hand, even if your parents were powerful mutants themselves, you could end up with minor powers. I won't give you a speech how even the smallest of things can make a difference since I know that most young people really don't want to understand that. I only ask you to prepare yourself for a disappointment."

"So, what is it? Something silly like randomly changing my hair color?" He wasn't that disappointed to hear that he didn't get those super-magnetic powers like that big terrorist guy. He was already awesome, dammit.

Okay, maybe he was a little bit let down that he probably wouldn't be able to fly. He would simply have to find a way to use his ki like those guys in the Dragonball show.

Professor Xavier decided to stop dancing around the issue and simply spilled it. "You can change the temperature of water." He paused a bit to let that sink in and continued. "But you cannot cool it down to ice or heat it up to become steam."

"Really?" Ranma asked wide-eyed.

"Yes." Prof. Xavier answered with his head bowed down. He could understand the disappointment. This wasn't the first time he had to destroy someone's hopes like that. It might be easier for some if he would just delete their memories of the encounter, but they had to know about the danger they were in because of the mutated genes of their bodies and what kind of effects to expect when their powers manifested.

"Really? I can make water hot or cold? Really?" Ranma repeated eagerly.

"Erm, yes." Prof. Xavier was a bit taken aback by Ranma's happy tone of voice.

"Score!" Ranma yelled punching the air. He didn't have to worry about changing into a girl during this loop. And if he could keep this power in the normal loops… oh, yeah!

"Professor," Cyclops addressed his mentor who was staring at the maniacally cackling boy, "are you sure you can speak Japanese?"

* * *

AN: I apologize if somebody else already wrote a story where Ranma gained a mutant power like this, but I don't remember reading one.

**

* * *

5**

"The Imperial Flagship is in range, Captain." Lt. Commander Worf announced.

"Open hailing frequencies." Captain Picard ordered.

"Hailing frequencies are open." The Klingon paused. "And acknowledged."

Instead of immediately adressing the ship after opening the hailing frequencies, as it was usual among the other space-faring races of the quadrant, Captain Picard waited until the other ship had stopped. It was one of the many strange customs of this race.

Captain Picard watched as the ship maneuvered into position. It reminded him of the roofs of classical Japanese houses with its red "tiles," all curves and sharp edges, but instead of rectangular, it was round and evenly divided by six large white "beams" that met in the center of the ship. The back left and right "roofs" continued their curves back upwards and ended in the nacelles of the ship's unknown faster than light drive.

The other ship did not stop in front of the Enterprise, instead it started to rise "upwards" and halted when it was horizontal to the Federation ship and showed it's whole flat white keel, decorated with giant black characters that reminded Picard of kanji. According to the translator the symbols meant either "The Emperor's Training Hall" or, if spoken in a challenging manner, "You Are Going To Be Schooled By The Master."

And that was in Picard's opinion the whole problem with their newest diplomatic encounter. Challenges.

All of their ships had names like this. The Flagship of their Fleet was "The Admiral's Anchor" or "You Will Be Going Down." The Flagship of their Explorer Fleet was "The Discoverer's Telescope" or "I Will See You Defeated," the ship of their ambassador was "The Diplomat's Tea-Room" or "You Might End Up In Hot Water," and many more like that.

It was a challenge to deal with them and their posturing. The other ship offered them the largest possible surface to show they had no fear and to provoke attacks. Not that it cost the Imperials anything. During their voyage to the meeting place, the Enterprise's bridge crew had reviewed recordings of other races' encounters with this behavior. Some had opened fire and the Imperial ships had turned themselves to their side in the blink of an eye, seemingly using one of their nacelles as an anchor, and evaded the attacks at lightspeed.

Others had imitated their behavior. One of them was Mt'Aso, the initiator of Starfleet's first contact with the Empire. He was the Vulcan captain of the USS Unzen and currently the greatest martial artist among Starfleet's officers. Apparently, they saw such an imitation as a challenge for a fight to determine the relative rank of the ships' captains. When Mt'Aso woke up in the sick bay three days after his match, he reported that the captain was far above his abilities and had told him that he was a "decent fighter," but needed more training.

It was a challenge to find their origins. According to scans they were humans originating from the Japanese isles, but many observed superhuman physical feats denied that. There was a report they claimed to be emigrants led astray by a cursed navigator, but that couldn't explain how they ended on a planet that was – as seen from Earth – behind the Romulan and Klingon Empire. Although it explained why they mainly expanded in direction of Earth, driving a wedge between the two other empires.

It was definitely a challenge to deal with a race that could defeat two of the mightiest species in the quadrant and were now at the border of Federation territories and had politely asked for a meeting.

It was a challenge to find out what kind of drive they were using. They claimed it was powered by the crew's lifeforce itself, mostly that of the ship's highest ranking member, and it followed that it was in the case of the flagship the lifeforce of the Emperor himself. Most psychics reported that the ships projected auras like living beings which supported their claim. There were rumors that some of the freighter ships of the Empire were powered by prisoners, as evidenced by their depressing psychic emanations.

It was a challenge to deal with the proposed subjects of the talks. Among other things, they wanted to organize a tournament to find the premier martial artist of the galaxy. And they wanted to include every known race. It was going to be security nightmare.

And of course it was a challenge to deal with their language. Everything depended on tone of voice and even the translator couldn't help since listeners could still tell if the speaker was sincere. It was a stroke of luck for the Federation that first contact was made by a Vulcan.

Finally the other ship came to a halt.

"This is Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Federation Ship USS Enterprise. We are here to escort you to your meeting with the Federal Senate as per the agreement between your Imperial Majesty and our President."

The screen switched to show the bridge of the other ship and Picard thought that either the claims of Japanese ancestry were true or that they had found an old documentation on Japanese interior decoration and had adapted their bridge or another cabin that was used for this encounter. It was a simple black and white rectangular room, with sliding doors and wall decorations seemingly made of wood and paper, and a floor covered with tatami mats, everything in a definitely Japanese style. Of the eight humanoids in the room, six wore loosely fitting white shirts and black trousers and sat, three at both sides of the room looking at each other group and – judging from the movements of their hands on the small tables and sometimes their arm braces – they were working at virtual computer stations. In the back of the room was a wooden podium about three inches high and on it were the current Emperor and the current Empress sitting side by side. Both of them wore clothes and arm braces tailored in the same style as the six others, but their shirts were red with a motif consisting of dragons, phoenixes, tigers, and tortoises.

According to the cultural primer that Starfleet Intelligence could cobble together from the limited data, both were crowned due to their rank as the premier martial artists of the Empire and not married to each other. Intelligence couldn't determine if they had earned the rank in a tournament or by simply challenging their predecessors and if they only tested their hand-to-hand fighting prowess or if they also tested other parts of warfare, including diplomacy.

"This is Emperor Ranma of the Saotomean Empire. We thank you for accompanying us to our destination, Honorable Captain."

Ranma really liked this fused loop. He was going to enjoy fighting the best martial artists of the galaxy. About the only thing he disliked was that the Empress had inherited the looks of her ancestor Konatsu, including her flat chest.

"Oh, by the way, are you related to Professor Xavier?"

* * *

AN: Is Ranma the immortal god-emperor of the empire or did he just start living in this universe? It doesn't matter much for the punchline, but I tend to the latter.

**

* * *

6**

Ranma was a bit confused about this new time-loop. It wasn't the first time that he didn't have his normal body, but the very first time he was a four-legged giant towering above something that might be a forest. It felt like he was attacked by mosquitos and he noticed the city in the distance. All thoughts about asking for help vanished when he was suddenly faced with a giant toad that grappled him. While he was trying to escape – he didn't have much experience with four-legged bodies – he noticed a tiny figure on top of the toad. Concentrating on it, it looked a bit like…

"NARUTO?" Bellowed the nine-tailed demon fox. The Fourth Hokage finished the sealing technique and saw it vanishing. He was very afraid for his son. How did the demon know his name?

Naruto was a bit confused about this new time-loop. He expected something strange to happen after the way he had finished the last loop. Who knew that the moon created by the Sage of the Six Paths contained the Ninety-nine-tailed Demon T-Rex? Well, team introductions were over now, so he returned to one of his favorite games. Taunt the Kyuubi. He went to the sewers of his dirty, dirty mind and was surprised when he noticed someone else standing behind the bars.

"Naruto? Man, am I glad to finally see someone. Do you know how to get ouf here?" Asked Ranma.

* * *

**7**

Magneto hovered triumphantly over the battlefield. Once again he had defeated his mortal enemies, the fools who called themselves the X-Men that futilely fought for peace between man and mutant. Over and over again they had opposed his designs for the ultimate victory of homo superior, sometimes they had managed to drive him back or even temporarily capture him, but most of the time they could only delay their inevitable defeat at the hands of the man who embodied the future.

Though he had to admit they had once again fought both bravely and intelligently, never hesitating to use an opening and even displaying a startling array of new techniques. They could have won, but from their behavior it was obvious that they already had another fight this day, one that had depleted their stamina and left injuries to be exploited. The X-Men had made many enemies, not just among the mutants fighting for his cause and the less intelligent humans who weren't even crafty enough to support their foolish fight against his forces before betraying them, but also among alien empires and self-declared gods. So it wasn't unexpected at all that one day they would be defeated by simple attrition.

A groan among the fallen took his attention away from his musings. "I still say this is better than training with that madman." Came the quiet complaint from his foe. Apparently he was hallucinating because of his injuries. "Shut up. He might hear you." In view of the whispered answer, it was a hallucination that was shared by his comrade-in-arms.

By now only the new mutant with the horrible codename was still standing. For a second Magneto considered luring the young man to his side by offering him a new name but quickly thought it beneath him.

"Your mutant speed, strength and ability to generate bioelectrical energy are impressive." Magneto deigned his new enemy to hear. The young man had managed to avoid both the metal he manipulated and the concentrated magnetic blasts that he created with his mutant power. An impressive debut even by the standards set by his predecessors. "But you cannot hope to defeat me on your own."

"That's not my mutant power. I learned all that by training in the martial arts. Now I will use my mutant power!" The challenger spoke and posed with his right arm pointing in Magneto's direction while his left hand held his right elbow. His right fist was half-closed, an inch between fingers and thumb, it looked like he was holding a thin invisible bar.

Magneto was amused by the youngsters arrogance and landed to demonstrate that he wouldn't even need the high ground to defeat the braggart. "So tell me, Thermostat," – Magneto winced slightly at the awful name - "what is your mutant power that will overcome me?" For a brief moment Magneto wished himself back to the time when every new mutant spelled his name with an obviously wrong letter to sound tougher instead of choosing a word that hadn't been used as a codename before. For a longer moment, he wondered why so few had followed his lead to design names with the simple pattern 'power plus suffix –o.' He loosened his collar with his finger which showed that he was still used to normal suits made by tailors instead of the self-created mesh of metal that was simply hold to his body through his unconscious control.

"I can change the temperature of water." Ranma declared. "But I can't cool it down to ice or heat it up to steam."

For a couple of seconds Magneto just stared at the Japanese boy, then for the first time in a long while Magneto began to laugh during a fight. It took him a very long time to catch his breath, during which Ranma didn't move except for slowly turning his right hand clockwise.

"This was amusing, young man. A good tactic to buy yourself time, but it seems your reign forces… your rain forests… your ring forks… your help is late." He swayed and sent a wobbling iron sheet in Ranma's direction who kicked it away without changing the position of his hands. Magneto then simply fell to the ground, his magnetically enhanced armor slowly dissolving.

"Could somebody please call the police? I think they want to put him in an aquarium."

* * *

"How did you do that?" Cyclops asked his new recruit and martial arts trainer.

"As I said, I've used my mutant power against him. My moko takabisha was too slow and he could sense me despite the umisenken, so I thought I should try that."

After a pause when everyone tried to think of how to use his power, Kitty Pryde was the first one to come up with an idea since she had heard Magneto's last words during the fight and saw him fall from her position. She asked spontaneously: "Wait a sec, you gave him a fever?"

"Not a real fever, I mean, I didn't give him a virus or anything, but I heated the water in his body, so he would start to hallucinate and stuff."

"But the water in his body is in his blood and other liquids!" Came the protest from Nightcrawler.

"There are still a lot of water molecules in his body and I used it on them."

"Why didn't you use that last week in the fight against the Juggernaut?" Cyclops was angry. How could Ranma hold back such a valuable technique?

"Hey, I couldn't control it last week, I had to practice it first! I don't want to cook anybody alive and kill him! Anyway, Juggsy is a halfway decent training partner. Perhaps I should teach him a couple of basic moves so he can become a real challenge."

Everybody stepped back from the obviously megalomaniac boy.

"Professor." Cyclops telepathically signaled the mentor of the X-Men. "You have to stop him somehow."

"Don't worry, Scott." Prof. Xavier answered the same way. "I have a plan."

* * *

Ranma sat in the kitchen of Xavier's mansion and stared ahead. He was devastated. He hadn't just been defeated – he had been humiliated! By little rodents! And a cute little girl! He prayed to all the kamis that his father hadn't arranged a marriage between them.

"Hey, Thermos flask." Wolverine greeted the young man. "Don't worry, she happens to the best of us. In fact, she happens only to the best of us. I've been there, bub."

"Okay, but I still don't even know how she did it!"

"That's Doreen Green for you." He grinned. "The bigger you are the stranger you fall."

"Isn't it 'the harder you fall?'"

"Not with Squirrel Girl. Have a beer."

* * *

AN: Yes, Ranma just god-moded with a third rate superpower. And since he god-moded he had to be brought down by Squirrel Girl. For those not in the know, Squirrel Girl is a mutant with the abilities of a squirrel and the writer-given meta-ability to defeat every god-like character off-screen.

Four hyphens in one sentence? That has to break one rule of writing. :)

**

* * *

8**

Training to enhance his ki, chi, chakra, reiki, mana, pishogue and whatnot was fine in and of itself, but sometimes even Ranma had enough of that and wanted quick results. And there were a lot of methods to cheat in his home universe. He found the hermit who gave Ryoga the Mark of the Gods and bribed him with food, tailored the Battle Dogi so it could be worn by him, found the secret of the Ultimate Strength Moxibustion – the opposite of the Ultimate Weakness Moxibustion – and other acupressure, acupunture and massage techniques that would enhance his strength. Then he ate the super-soba, drank the super-sake and took off the glasses of that American choujin.

And he felt great! Stronger than ever before, he flexed his arm and – the wall of the dojo broke. As did the wall surrounding the property. And the wall of the neighboring house and the neighbor house itself and all the houses behind. And there was something wrong with the gap. It looked like nothing Ranma had ever seen before, a bit like black ink from the point of view of a manga character…

'Oops.' Ranma thought. 'Looks like I broke reality.'

* * *

When he could see again, Ranma looked at a seemingly friendly stranger in front of the room where Ranma was sitting on a wooden chair with his hands on a wooden table. The stranger was wearing a headband with a foreign symbol, it seemed to be a spiral with a triangle at the lower left and an extra line pointing from the end of the spiral in the upper right further in that direction. Finally it dawned on Ranma. That was Naruto's sign! The man had a noticeable scar across his nose and was wearing a dark blue uniform with a green vest and some wrappings around his right leg and at the bottom of his trousers. His shoes – sandals? – were open in front, exposing the toes. The man was holding a clipboard behind his back and the room behind him seemed to be a classroom with the usual blackboard hanging in the back, but some of the posters in the back surprised Ranma. There was a human shaped target with the most vulnerable spots pointed out, diagrams of various ninja weapons and a list of hand signs.

Ranma scanned the rest of the room. It seemed to be a modern lecture hall with three rows of desks each higher than the one in front to give the audience free view of the lecturer. Each row had three desks with three students each, but instead of the young adults one would expect in such a setup, it was filled with children of about 12 years of age. They were wearing clothes in a style he had never seen before and the only thing they had in common were the headbands with the strange symbol, though not everybody was wearing them around the head. Another thing most of them had in common were bandages around their ankles and wrists and at apparently random parts of their arms and legs. He noticed that some of them wore armor under their clothes and that all of them had very noticeable distinguishing features in their face, ranging from interesting birthmarks to obviously fake markings that looked like they could be removed in a second.

Looking to his right, he saw that his neighbor was a 12 year old Ucchan and judging from the angle he was looking at her, he was probably about the same age as her. Behind Ukyo he saw Konatsu, also 12 years old, although Ranma had to admit that he had never seen the boy or any photos of him at that age before. Ukyo was wearing her usual chef attire without her apron but with the addition of some wraps around her forearms and left leg and a pouch at her back. She wore the obligatory headband around her neck. Konatsu was wearing his usual kunoichi costume, but it didn't have any patches and he wore the headband at the right place.

Checking himself, he noticed that he was wearing a short-sleeved variant of his usual Chinese clothes and wrist guards with the addition of a pouch at his right, some wraps around his left leg and the headband with a metal plate at the correct position. Checking it with his fingers he found that it had the same symbol as everyone else.

Finally, Ranma began to listen to the man in front of him. "Team 12 will be Ranma Saotome, Ukyo Kuonji and her family's retainer Konatsu." The man paused to look at the children in the classroom. "All I have left to say is wishing you good luck in your future career as Ninjas."

Then Ranma noticed Naruto at the other side of the classroom, sitting at a table by the windows. Could this be the ninja's normal home loop? Or was it some strange fusion of their loops? The kids didn't look very ninja-like, but then again everything but the black outfit that bad movies and TV shows had popularized was good to disguise a ninja's calling, most of all Naruto's orange outfit that nearly glowed in the dark. And he didn't recognize anybody except for Ukyo, Konatsu and Naruto.

"Ok, this afternoon we will introduce your Jounin-senseis. Until then, take a break." The man in the front finished. If he remembered correctly, Naruto had called him Mr. Dolphin.

While the other kids left the room, Ranma walked over to his friend.

"Hey, Ranma." Naruto greeted him, removing Ranma's silent fear that he wouldn't remember the loops.

"You know him?" The pink-haired girl of Naruto's team asked. "Well, that fits with your Ninja Centerfold Technique. Being friends with 'Team Travesty.'" She sneered. "Let's go, Sasuke-kun, before we catch the gay."

'Oh, great!' Ranma mentally groused. 'It's one of those loops with a message.'

**

* * *

15**

The first clue that told Ranma that this wasn't a normal loop was Nabiki's more modest clothing when he met the Tendos. The second clue was the older black and white television in the living room. He took Akane's frustrated acceptance of the engagement as a part of the normal variations. The real third clue was the calendar that he saw in Kasumi's kitchen. It was June 1971.

He had no idea why this particular loop started in the past and there were no great historical events that he remembered that happened in that year, except for Emperor Hirohito's meeting with Queen Elizabeth II. So he was very surprised when the television commentator announced that the very first American mission to the Moon had started.

The rocket was named STARDUST and its technical specifications were different from what he remembered, too. It had a nuclear powered drive in the second and third stage and it didn't have a landing module but the thrid stage was a shuttle that would land in one piece on the Moon and return to Earth landing like a plane as the Space Shuttle would in his normal timeline.

When the rocket arrived at the moon and they announced that contact with the STARDUST was lost, Ranma prepared himself for yet another encounter with aliens. Days later the ship landed in the Gobi desert and the astronauts declared that they would create a new nation called The Third Power to unite mankind against threats from outer space.

Days later he still wasn't sure what to do, when he was walking down the street and approached by an American and an African man.

"Mr. Saotome, my name is Fellmer Lloyd and this is my colleague Ras Tschubai." The American man introduced themselves. "We would like to talk with you."

"Sure. You got any place in mind?"

"This café over here seems nice." After they had sat down and ordered some drinks, Mr. Lloyd began to explain. "You have undoubtedly heard about the events surrounding Major Perry Rhodan and the other members of his crew."

"What we're about to tell you may sound fantastic, but it is the unvarnished truth." Ras Tschubai continued. "We only ask you to keep an open mind and hear us out, before you decide."

"My mind couldn't be more open if you took a can opener to the top of my skull." Smirked Ranma.

"Very well. Major Rhodan and his crew have found a marooned alien spaceship on the moon when they had to make their forced landing due to the automated defenses of the alien ship." Mr. Lloyd paused to give Ranma time to digest this information. "The Arkonides – that is the name of the alien race – were willing to make a deal. In exchange for knowledge of their advanced technology, we will help them repair their ship."

"Mr. Rhodan has deserted his position in the United States Space Force, because he knows that giving this technology exclusively to the Americans will inevitably lead to atomic war between the superpowers." Mr. Tschubai explained. "But that war is inevitable even without alien intervention. It will mean the end of all human civilization."

"That's all very informative." Ranma didn't try to correct their error about the inevitability of nuclear war. After all, it could be different on this world. "But what does this have to do with me?"

"Perry Rhodan wants to unite mankind and he needs extraordinary help to fulfill this extraordinary task." Mr. Lloyd explained. "People with paranormal powers. Mr. Tschubai here can teleport." The African man teleported from one chair to the next to demonstrate. "While I can read minds and locate them. Many Japanese have powers like ours, all mutated by the radiation of the nuclear bombs that devastated your cities. You seem to have at least the ability to deflect my mind-reading abilities and maybe even more."

"We want you to use your abilities to help us prevent nuclear war, unite mankind and fight against extraterrestrial threats." Mr. Tschubai finished.

"Sure, why not." It sounded like a nice change. A couple of years playing spy and fighting aliens sounded kind of nice to him.

* * *

AN: This loop was written to celebrate the publication of the 2500th issue of the pulp booklet series 'Perry Rhodan' this week. The first issue was published in 1961 and set in the far-flung future of 1971.

The joke is that some of the protagonist gained devices which give them eternal youth (they don't age, but can still die of everything else) and the series is now set in the 50th century. Ranma would very probably be one of the near-immortals. (The entity who gave the protagonists the devices gave them a time limit of 20.000 years.)

It's a funny coincidence that the 40th anniversary of the real first moon landing is in the same week.

**

* * *

17**

Ranma didn't really need to check his clothes, the familiar weight of his zanpakuto at his belt told him all he needed to know. He was in yet another fused loop as a shinigami. Or rather, she was. For some reason Ranma had started this loop as a woman, but she wouldn't stay one if she could avoid it. The problem was that if she started a fused or fubared loop as a woman, shape-shifting magic oftentimes didn't work on her. Grumbling about the maximum perversity of the multiverse, she checked her position. It looked like she was in a modern city at night and the lighted sign over the door of the house in front of her read 'Kurosaki Family Clinic.'

'This might be Ichigo's home.' She checked the area for spiritual pressures. 'Sure feels like him. The living him. And the light is still on, might be a good time to visit.'

Just when she prepared herself to jump to Ichigo's window, she noticed a Hollow in the distance. 'I should better take care of that. It's always so annoying to hear that a monster has killed someone and I could have prevented it. It's not like I can save everybody.'

She sighed and took out some Hollow bait from a pocket. Then she connected it to the hook of a fishing rod that she had pulled out of another pocket and sent the bait in direction of the hollow. As soon as she felt that the hollow went in direction of the bait, she began to reel it in.

"Here, Hollow, Hollow, Hollow." Ranma sang under her breath, grinning wildly. It would have been faster to run to the Hollow, but fishing was simply more relaxing.

Finally the Hollow came into sight. It wasn't an impressive specimen, at least not for someone who could kill Menos Grande without releasing her bankai. Feeling mercifully, she simply killed it with a single strike. Its death cry seemed to alert one of the occupants of the house.

"Hey Rukia, why didn't you come inside…" Ichigo took another look at the female shinigami under the street light. "Ranma, is that you? Wait a second, did you just ruin the easiest way for me to become a shinigami?"

Ranma shrugged. "Oops?"


	3. Looping Xovers

**Looping X-Overs**

**1****1**

The 353rd loop

Directly inspired by Innortal

"Fiancée?" The question still echoed through the living room of the Tendo Dojo, but nobody present wanted to answer it. The three Tendo sisters didn't look at their father anymore, but at themselves. Or, to be more correct, at their doubles who had suddenly appeared at the other side of the table next to their father.

For a second, nobody said anything. Soun Tendo proved that he still had the reflexes of a master martial artist and jumped straight from his sitting position to the head of the table.

But before he could say anything, the newly arrived Nabiki on the left side of the table complained: "Okay, what has Saotome done now?"

'Left' Akane just palmed her face. "Nabs. Get help. Professional help. This paranoia of yours is really beneath you."

"Like there is any shrink who could help when there is really someone after you."

'Left' Kasumi calmly announced "I suppose the Moebius Maneuver didn't work out. The original Jusendo spring is back." She thought about it for a moment. "Maybe the Phoenix people or the Musk used a time pipeline after the loop. This might take a while to investigate."

"Shouldn't you know that already, oh my goddess?" 'Left' Nabiki snarked.

"Omniscience is harder than it looks, Nabiki-chan."

Finally the other people in the room decided to join the conversation.

"What's going on here? Who are you people?" 'Right' Akane demanded to know showing that her mouth was faster than her brain.

"Isn't it obvious, Akane?" Drawled the Nabiki at her side of the table. "They're some kind of time-traveling doubles of us and something went wrong with their machine."

"Did you hear that?" 'Left' Akane addressed 'Left' Nabiki pointing at 'Right' Nabiki. "Why can't you be like your old self? She has just listened to us for one minute and has already figured out what's going on."

"She's wrong about the machine. And Saotome…"

"So my future self is a raving paranoid." 'Right' Nabiki interrupted her 'left' self.

"It's not paranoia!"

"Yes it is!" 'Left' Akane protested. "Do you think Ranma would be able to fool Kasumi during all the loops? He is no actor!"

"How do you know about Genma's son?" Soun asked, showing that he had no idea what everybody was talking about, but could still recognize names. Before anybody could answer that, there was a commotion at the front door.

"Leggo, y'ol' fool!" They heard, followed by a puzzled yell of: "Who the hell are ya?"

"That sounds a bit different than usual." 'Left' Nabiki remarked.

"I would say it sounds like we are being invaded by a panda carrying two pigtailed teens." 'Left' Kasumi mused.

"Two?" 'Left' Akane perked up. "Does that mean…?" She didn't wait for an answer, jumped up and ran to the front door, followed closely by her five sisters and one father.

In the hall they found a pigtailed girl berating her twin in front of a silent panda. "I dunno who the hell ya are, but I won't let ya get what ya want!" She paused for a second. "Whatever it is ya want!"

"This is going to be one of those loops." Complained the other girl calmly. "I just know it."

"Ranma!" Akane was ecstatic. A looping Ranma! Finally proof that it hadn't been a magical construct the first time they had met. She lunged at the calm one and started a passionate kiss.

"You are Ranma?" The other Akane in the room asked the unoccupied twin. "But you look like…" Akane showed that she had learned the same manners as her sister and poked the other one's chest. "You're a girl!" Then she looked at the kissing couple and cried. "Oh my god! My future self is a lesbian!"

"Pay up, big sis." 'Right' Nabiki smirked at her sister.

"Drat. I was so sure that it would be just a phase."

"Oh, I would say it's still undecided." 'Left' Kasumi added and snipped her fingers. Suddenly the panda and the pigtailed girls were splashed.

"Hot!" Complained the pigtailed teen who didn't have his mouth occupied with a more masculine voice.

"Now she is a boy." Right Kasumi observed.

"Oh, it's a magical curse that he picked up in China. Cold water changes him into a girl, hot water changes him back." Left Kasumi explained. "And Akane hasn't stopped kissing him."

"Damn. It's still undecided."

"Thanks for taking care of the important things." Right Kasumi thanked her double.

"Did you have to change him while we were busy?" Left Akane complained. "That always feels so weird."

Then she took a good look at her double who was gaping at the goofy look on the kissed Ranma's face and grinned.

"I've got a double here! I don't have to stay!" Left Akane announced. "You can take care of Kuno! Just go to the shop on Shinobu street, corner of Ran, and ask for the Ataru special!" Then she looked at the Ranma and her side, grabbed his hand and yelled. "Let's elope!" She threw something at the floor and vanished in a puff of smoke.

"A smoke grenade? I always knew you would become a super-villain, little sis." Right Nabiki smirked at her sister.

"Hey, where did the other Ranma go?" Asked Right Akane who was still left.

"It looks like he has written a letter." Right Kasumi picked up the note and began to read out loud:

"Dear family,

if you think I will pass up on a chance to be with two Ranmas at once, you have got another thing coming!!!!

Bwa-hahaha!!!!!

Best Wishes, Akane

P.S. See you next loop!!!!"

"Did you have to add the mad laughter?" Akane complained.

"It is written down in the letter. See?"

"And she used five exclamation marks!"

"A sure sign of a sick mind." Right Nabiki added. "Wouldn't you agree?" She asked her double.

"Why are you asking me that? Stop grinning at me! That tears it! I am out of here!" Left Nabiki yelled and quickly got out of the house.

"Would you be so kind and explain the whole situation?" Right Kasumi asked her double.

"If you insist. Please follow me to the living room."

"Tendo, what is going on here?" The former panda asked the single male of the Tendo family while they followed the girls.

"I am not sure, Saotome. Were you really that panda?"

"I will explain that, too, father. Please join us at the table."

Arriving in the living room, she looked at the table. "This will not do at all." She muttered and gestured. Suddenly both the room and the table were about a meter longer with enough space for five persons at each side.

"How did you do that?" Akane asked incredulously.

Right Kasumi breathed out slowly. "Magic, Akane-chan. Do try to keep up. There seems to be a lot of that going around."

"Thank you, Kasumi." Left Kasumi thanked Right Kasumi. Then she waved to the others to take seats at the other side of the table.

"Where did that picture come from?" Akane pointed at the wall opposite of her.

"I added it so the room would still look harmonious despite its changed proportions. It's not like this is the first time I've done a thing like that. Please try to keep your mind on the important things."

"But what happened to the rest of the house? The hall and the floor and the garden still look the same size! Where did that extra space come from?"

"Magic, dear little sister. I know all of this at once is terribly confusing, but…"

"And what about the other me? And the other Nabiki? Will they be okay? And why does she, I mean I, I mean she want to have both Ranmas?"

"I think they are able to take care of themselves like they did for the last three hundred fifty-two loops. And after Akane-chan's display you should be able to figure that last one out for yourself."

"Oh my god! My future self is a pervert!"

"Exactly, little sister. She is a pervert. Now to the less important things like the continued destabilization of the multiverse. At least everybody is here so I don't have to explain things twice." After a good long look at the fathers, she added silently: "More like four times." Then much louder: "Would you like some sake?" She gestured and a couple of bottles appeared on the table.

"Don't mind me!" Genma announced and took a swig. "Ahh! That's the good stuff!"

"Hmm. I think a drink after all this commotion couldn't hurt." Soun mused and drank a cup.

"A cunning plan, big sister." Nabiki drawled. "But not all of us are that easily distracted."

"Really, Nabiki-chan? As an experienced time-traveler I have prepared myself for all eventualities and know the winners of the next horse races." She held up a piece of paper. "If you hurry you might be just in time to place your bets."

"That…"Nabiki started to sweat, thinking of the potential fortune. "You know that I am not old enough to make bets."

"You might not, but I know Patsy-san is." Right Kasumi said.

Nabiki looked to her side. "You know about him?"

"I am your big sister. I know things. Things that you would never reveal to your closest friends. Things that could destroy you." She paused dramatically. "Things like the fact that you answer questions truthfully and without remembering them before you drink your first cup of coffee in the morning."

"Ugh."

"Just go ahead." Right Kasumi allowed. "I will explain myself everything and tomorrow I will let you tell yourself everything you know. And if you're not home by then I will do that."

"What? Oh, you mean your future self and my future self. Bye." Nabiki grabbed the paper and left as quickly as her double did before.

"That wasn't a nice thing to do." Right Kasumi complained to her double.

"Oh? Why?"

"I saw the odds on the paper. Those five bets were all on favorites. She won't be able to get more than ten times of her initial investments. And she just bought that computer for herself and should be broke for the rest of the month."

"That sure sounds like a lot." Soun threw in, already slightly swaying from the sake. "Saotome, can you imagine? Getting ten… ten yen?"

"Sounds great, Tendo! Let's follow your daughter!" Genma announced and dragged Soun out of the room. Both kept their bottles with them.

"Does Mr. Saotome even have any money?"

"The last time I checked, Ranma-kun was carrying what money they had in his backpack. Akane-chan took that pack with her. And since she was in a hurry I doubt she has removed it."

"Since we are finally out of distractions…" Right Kasumi sighed. "What's going on?"

"Ah. The easy questions. The three of us have been repeating the coming year about three hundred and fifty-three times now. The loop before last I tried to break the circle…"

"Loop?"

"Just a nickname for the repeats, Akane-chan. This isn't that hard. Anyway, I tried to break the curse by giving three other girls the same fate and let all independent loops end at the same moment."

"Wait, what? How could you add three other girls? Why them? How could it end at the same time? Wouldn't you have to repeat together with them?"

"Oh, I forgot to mention. Those last two loops were the first time all of us and the other three girls were in the same loop."

"And how could you give them the, uh, loops when they were already with you?"

"I guess that deservers a longer explanation. Imagine time as the chemicals in a can of silly string…"

Four hours later found the two right sisters still listening and occasionally glancing at the strange objects on the table, like the Klein bottles filled with syrup, the cross-caps that were sliced open, the cans of differently colored silly string, the set of Efron's dice, the model of M.C. Escher's Waterfall and the various blackboards that Left Kasumi had conjured to illustrate the theory of 7-dimensional time theory. Normally the wall behind Kasumi should barely be big enough for one blackboard, but the proportions of the room had once again changed without destroying the rest of he house.

"… and the vector of the hyperstring interfered with the chiral plane of the counterclockwise Moebius strip. Or, in other words, I added the other girls by bullying Father Time but my spell hit a snag after the last loop, leading to the current mess." Left Kasumi finished.

"I understand your desire to explain a problem to help yourself comprehend it." Right Kasumi said calmly. "But we would have been perfectly happy with that last sentence!" She yelled.

"Uhhh, yes." Akane was swaying and her eyes were rolling. Her brain hurt. She snagged a random thought and held onto it. "So who are those other girls?"

"Oh, you don't know them yet. They are friends of Ranma." She conjured photos of them. "That's Ukyo Kuonji, a childhood friend of Ranma's, Xian Pu a warrior of the Joketsezuko and Kodachi Kuno."

"Kuno?" Akane was taken aback.

"Yes. Tatewaki-kun's sister. She has… problems."

"She is Kuno's sister and she is the one with problems?" Akane's mind boggled. "They have doubles too? How did they react?"

"Let me have a look." She gestured again and looked through the open door to the garden. "The Ukyos seem to get along fine with each other, Xian Pu's, let's say younger self, has killed the older one…"

"Killed!" Akane exclaimed

"They are warriors. I think she thought her older self to be a demon while the older self underestimated her younger self and got blindsided. And the Kuno girls… "

Left Kasumi blanched, then wordlessly pulled a plastic bottle out of nowhere, used it to fill a plastic cup and swallowed the liquid and shuddered, before she smiled again. "Much better. Thank Lethe corp. for Brain Bleach(TM)." She looked at the other two in the room and said: "Let's just say those two are taking twincest to the next level and leave it at that, shall we?"

"Um, all right." Akane allowed and whispered to Right Kasumi. "What does twincest mean?"

"I am sure you will figure that out for yourself in your future."

"Okay…" She wondered why Kasumi would say that and suddenly remembered her future perverted self who was right now together with two Ranmas. She would know everything about those things like all perverts. Akane blushed and decided to change the topic. "Where's Nabiki?"

"Our Nabiki came home two hours ago and wisely decided not to come inside when she saw the blackboard. I think you were busy playing with those dice at the time."

"I just wanted to figure out…" Akane tried to defend herself and realized that she still hadn't figured out anything about those dice.

"So, once again, what went wrong with your spell?" Kasumi asked her double.

"There was someone else looping. I should have realized from the start that Ranma would be repeating, too, since he is the anchor. But he wasn't aware when I tried to stop the loops. I thought that loop was an intersection for all of us."

"Anchor?"

"Yes, it all started with him since he created the connection between the Saotome family curse and Jusenkyo. The loop starts when the family curse is activated and it ends when Jusenkyo runs out of magic power or when he dies. I thought I could stop it by destroying Jusenkyo in the past, but since Ranma's loops weren't part of my spell, it all backfired."

"The Saotome family curse?" Kasumi wasn't happy to hear that her future brother-in-law would give her future nieces and nephews a curse.

"The father will betray the son at the boundary of the Tendo Dojo over and over again and he will share the pain with his fiancée."

"What an odd curse."

"It was created by a foreigner at the orders of a maniac."

"That explains that, then. But what is Jusenkyo?"

"The cursed place that gave Ranma and his father their shape-shifting curses. It's a valley in the Byankalaya Mountains in China filled with hundreds of springs. Each spring gives its victim a different form when they fall into it. Hot water gives them their original bodies back, but only until they are hit with cold water again."

"And what became of the strip?" Akane asked all of a sudden.

"Do you mean the Moebius Band? To be frank, I've no idea. It has already created this mess here. And since it was made without adding Ranma's loops…" Left Kasumi shrugged.

"But the looping Ranma's here now, isn't he?" Akane asked. "So now you can break the curse. And the loops."

"That's true." Kasumi started to smile. "I just need to invoke the Rule of Three again and…" Her smile fell. "Fuck."

"Kasumi!"

"We are seven. And I already invoked the Rule of Three, that means it's now the Rule of the Triple Seven." Kasumi slumped down.

"So you have to let fourteen other people loop?" Akane asked.

"No, it's Triple Seven not three times seven. I have to find a way to let seven hundred and seventy other people loop. And each of them needs to have a fundamental connection with Ranma like our status as potential fiancées or members of his family. Ranma doesn't even know that many people! I need a drink."

She sat up, opened a part of the wall like a door, went through, and closed it behind her.

"What about all your stuff?" Akane asked the wall.

"I guess she will pick it up tomorrow." Kasumi sniffed. "Did you take a bath after your training?"

"Ehh, no." Akane grimaced. The water should be ice cold by now. She excused herself, went to the bathroom, took off her clothes in the changing room and opened the door to the furo. Which was now much bigger than five hours before and looked like a private swimming pool with a jacuzzi.

"Come on in! The water is perfect!" Akane saw her double waving to join her and the two Ranmas at her sides.

"Oh, why the hell not." There were worse fates than becoming a pervert.

**

* * *

1****3**

Ranma slowly walked through the carriages of the Hogwarts Express to the end of the train, preparing himself for yet another meeting with his friends. A fused Hogwarts loop often meant another new looper. Half the time Ranma found himself here in this train he would meet someone who had just recently found a way to destroy a significant part of his universe and the other times he would meet old comrades who had gone a little more than half-crazy. Both of these situations were good because they were distracting him from the boredom, but also interesting. Interesting as in the Chinese curse. Bracing himself, he opened the door to the last compartment in the train where he usually met his friends.

"At least a familiar face!" Came a friendly voice that Ranma hadn't heard in a while. "I guess you are the Ranma these guys know." He hadn't heard that voice for so long because he had given up talking to himself a couple of dozens loops ago.

Screening the compartment, he saw Ichigo, Usagi, Naruto, Harry, Shinji and… another Ranma.

'Great. An earlier version of me.' Ranma thought. 'Can't remember this one, but… shouldn't he recognize at least some of the other loopers? I remember the first time I met them and there wasn't another me there back then.'

"So, why don't you introduce us, if you know them. They look a bit like a couple of guys I know, but the multiverse is a big place." The other Ranma grinned.

"Really?" Usagi smiled at the other Ranma. "Who would these other people be?" She gave him a dreamy look, while Ranma took a seat opposite of the other Ranma.

"Well, they come from different universes than mine." The other Ranma smiled back at her. "But the funny thing is, there are stories about them on my world. It's like their universes made some sort of contact with mine and others. Just like mine did, apparently."

"What do you mean by that?" Naruto asked.

"Well, there are manga or books about them in my universe, just as there are manga about me in their universes." The other Ranma took a book out of a pocket. "See here? That's one about me that I took from one of their universes, when we sort of connected our worlds. It's identical on all of their worlds."

"Yay! A new manga." Usagi grabbed the book out of the other Ranma's hand and began to page through it quickly. She recognized the story since Ranma had told it her a couple of times when he had tried to distract her from her bedroom plans. "You look so cute in this drawing style!"

"Aw, thanks." The other Ranma scratched the back of his neck.

"Who are those guys that you were talking about." Ichigo asked gruffly. Secretly, he was very relieved. It looked like this new Ranma would become this loop's victim of the Moon Princess' fully awakened sexual appetites.

"Well, you look like Ichigo Kurosaki from Bleach," the other Ranma looked at each of the other loopers and named them, "you look like Usagi Tsukino from Sailor Moon, you look like Naruto Uzumaki from Naruto, you look like Harry Potter from the books of the same name and you…" he hesitated while looking at Shinji "you could be Shinji Ikari from Neon Genesis Evangelion."

"Well, you got them right." Ranma said. "Why did you say you didn't recognize them?"

"Because I didn't. It's like somebody took the most distinguishing features from my friends and plastered them on these guys' heads. I mean I recognized Harry here because of his scar and the glasses, but nearly everything else is different! It's a bit like watching a James Bond movie but getting Roger Moore instead of Sean Connery. Different actor, same character."

"Okay, that's weird." Harry said. "But why do you and… Ranma over there look the same?"

"Guess the multiverse has good taste. Or because I am simply the best!" The other Ranma boasted.

"Well, you are hunky, I give you that." Usagi said, giving him the manga back and smiling brilliantly.

"Oh, stop that, please. I am a happily engaged man!"

Everybody froze and stared at the other Ranma.

"And your fiancée would be Akane Tendo, right?" Ranma asked him coolly.

"Sure. Oh!" He hesitated for a moment, than continued in a relieved voice. "Well, if there are two of us here, then there must be two of her out there, too! I bet we can find out which one belongs to each one of us. We will just have to compare our stories. And if that doesn't work, one of your friends here can come over and the Akane who recognizes him is your fiancée!"

"There is no Akane in this kind of loop." Ranma stated.

The other Ranma stared at him with his eyes wide open. "No Akane?" He whispered. "But… what am I supposed to do without her?"

"Oh, that tears it!" Yelled Ranma. He pulled out his wand and pointed it at the still shocked other Ranma. "Finite Incantatem Maxima Hyperbolus!"

The other Ranma vanished in a swirl of black ashes. The ashes formed a small scroll, which simply faded away.

"Someone has made a fake me!" Ranma had thought that the other was under some kind of spell and used the strongest spell breaker he knew, but he hadn't expected this. He didn't break a spell on a Ranma, he broke a spell that had created a Ranma.

"At least it's obvious who did it. He wanted to go back to your fiancée." Ichigo smirked. He had been engaged to the short-tempered girl in one of his fused loops. His father Isshin played a much more convincing panda than Genma from what Ranma had told him.

"A looping Akane with magic powers? Gah! As if I didn't have enough nightmares already!"

"I can help you keep them away this night, Ranma." Usagi beamed.

"Ah, that won't be necessary."

"Hey, you owe me!"

"Owe you what?"

"I nearly had him ready for a threesome."

"What? That thing flat out refused!" He paused. "And who would have been the second girl?"

"Who said anything about another girl? Nookie with two studs at the same time… and not those flimsy shadow clones… Hmm." She sighed dreamily.

Ranma shuddered. Yet another horror waiting for him in the loops. And knowing his luck, he would have that threesome sooner rather than later.

* * *

In the meantime, a third Ranma was walking to the front wagon of the train. He was terribly confused. One moment he was walking away from his father after refusing to be engaged without his consent, the next moment he was sitting in a train full of English speaking kids. He was wearing a school uniform he had never seen before and not only that, but he was also twelve years old! He could barely understand English, but he hoped there would be a conductor or at least an engineer who could tell him what was going on.

"Hi, Ranma!" Came an unfamiliar voice. "Isn't this exciting? My first fused Hogwarts loop! Are you going to meet the others? Do you think Usagi-chan will be there, too?"

"Who are ya?" Ranma asked cautiously.

"Don't you recognize me? It's me, Nanoha-chan! Is this one of those time paradox thingies? This is your first time meeting me, but the last time I met you was our second meeting from your point of view?" She hesitated. "But didn't you say that was our first meeting last time?" She looked at him suspiciously. "You're not playing a joke on me, are you?"

"No! I really don't know ya! What's a paradox anyway? And what has it got to do with pig pimples?"

"Huh? You mean this is your first time in this loop, too?"

"What da ya mean with loop?"

Nanoha got serious. "This is very strange. Let's look for the others. You told me they always meet in the last wagon, right?"

"No, I didn't."

"Yes, you…" She made a face. "Okay, not you, but the you who remembers. Have you already looked in the last wagon?"

Ranma shook his head. "Nah. What's there?"

"The other anchors, of course!"

"Anchors? What da ya mean with that now."

"Well, people like us who repeat some years of their lives, because the universe is broken."

Ranma made a not very intelligent face. "Repeat some years? The universe is broken?"

"You mean you haven't repeated at all?"

"Hey! I might not be the best in school, but I never had ta repeat a class!"

"So, you're the original Ranma from before the loops? This should be interesting."

Nanoha's smile disturbed Ranma, as did her strength when she dragged him effortlessly through the train. She opened the door to the last compartment and before anybody could react, she yelled: "Hello, everybody! You will never guess who I just found!" With that she dragged in Ranma.

The Ranma who was already sitting in the compartment sighed in annoyance. "Oh man. Not another one of those." And with a flourish of his wand he repeated his spell: "Finite Incantatem Maxima Hyperbolus."

Nothing happened until the new Ranma cried: "Who are ya, ya fake?" And he attacked the sitting Ranma with a jump to kick him in the head.

With a flick of his wrist the sitting Ranma sent the attacker to the ceiling. "So you're real. What's your deal?"

"Uh, I think he's a Ranma who has never looped before." Nanoha answered in stead of the stunned boy embedded in the top of the compartment.

Ranma remembered all the loops when he had met his older self and later his younger self, that is, first he met a self that had looped more times than him and when he went through that loop again, he met a self that had looped less times than him. Both older and younger Ranma were annoying. "Great. Babysitting again."

"Yay!" Came the happy cry from Usagi. "I bet he will have that threesome with us, Ranma!"

Ranma just shook his head. His luck was holding out. Those things always happened sooner than he expected.

* * *

AN: This is a kind of stealth crossover with my fic 'Looping.' Akane has met a looping Ranma in her chapter, but Kasumi didn't mention one during the last chapter. Instead she implied that Akane had created one with a wishing scroll. That fake Ranma joined the other Anchors in this fused loop, but so did the real but unaware Ranma from Akane's loop where the fake Ranma had replaced the not-looping Ranma.


	4. Nabiki's first loop

**21**

And now for something completely different: Nabiki's first loop. She is the only one aware of the repeat, but she didn't expect the butterfly effect…

This doesn't really fit with the rest of the loops, since it's a first loop, but it was inspired by those and I think it doesn't need its own entry.

* * *

"Fiancée?" The question echoed through the living room of the Tendo Dojo, startling Nabiki whose last memory was of going to bed after a profitable weekend with yet another guy both stupid and rich enough to date her. After glances to her left and particularly to her right, her suspicions were confirmed.

'Akane still has her long hair. I've been sent into the past.' She took a deep breath, disguised by her glass of juice. 'Oh well, something like that had to happen sooner or later. Someone has tried to attack Ranma somehow and accidentally got me. It's a miracle they didn't get me earlier, considering the level of competence among Ranma's enemies. Now the only question left is how to profit from this.

'First there are Ranma's fights. I know which ones he will win and which ones he won't, so I ought to be able to make quite a bit of money with that knowledge.

'Then there are his rivals. Some of them will pay a pretty penny, if I could tell them where to find to Saotomes before they find them by themselves. Ah, but where to find the rivals? Hibiki is a lost cause. Shampoo, too. I should be able to locate Kuonji – but there is bound to be a couple of guys and girls with that name. It will probably cost too much to find her and she isn't rich enough to recoup the costs. Pantyhose Taro is only after Happosai and I doubt he has got an address. Might be nice to get rid of that old goat somehow. Mrs. Saotome would like to know the truth about her family somewhat earlier, but she doesn't have much money. And Kumon is the same as Hibiki. Well, there went that plan.'

Musing about possible avenues of future income, she had missed her father's 'introduction' of the Saotomes and only reacted when she heard a familiar voice and the sounds of violence which usually accompanied that voice.

"Leggo, y'ol' fool!"

'Seems like he doesn't remember like everyone else in here.' Nabiki thought a bit disappointed. 'It would have been far more interesting with someone who would try and counter me. Well, this just means more profit for me.'

Ranma's introduction went about the same way that Nabiki remembered (and it was a very memorable scene in her opinion) except that she had much more fun with it. After Akane had taken the cursed boy to the training hall, Nabiki smiled and said: "Well, this engagement business was a bust. Nearly literally. I am in my room if anybody needs me."

Once there, she started to write down dates of important events and many rumors and facts that she had learned about her classmates in the following year, including which ones would be good for a date and which ones were total flops. 'If I am somehow recalled to the future or forget this stuff because of one of these time paradox thingies, then my past self should be able to use this and make a small fortune.'

She was interrupted, when Kasumi called her down for yet another family meeting. This time her father sat to their side, while the Saotomes sat opposite of them.

"I'll explain it once more." Soun Tendo tried to explain the situation again. "This is my dear old friend…"

"Genma Saotome." The part-time panda took it from there. "And this is my son…"

"Ranma." The pig-tailed boy finished.

Nabiki didn't really listen to the tale of Jusenkyo and the idiocy of the two martial artists. She wondered how she had missed Akane's scream when her little sister had met Ranma in the bathroom and why Akane – who was still in her gi – wasn't angrily staring at the boy. She was so distracted thinking about this, she nearly missed her cue when it came to pass along the engagement

"Your problem isn't so terrible after all!" Soun Tendo said, patting the back of the female Ranma. "Pick the one you want. She's your fiancée."

"Oh, he wants Akane." Kasumi moved behind her youngest sister.

"Definitely." Nabiki added enthusiastically.

"You must be joking! Why would I be-" Akane protested.

"Well, you hate boys, don't you?" Nabiki interrupted her, knowing that Akane only hated immature boys. Too bad they only had that kind in Nerima.

"So you're in luck! He's a half-girl!" Kasumi finished that argument.

"Me? Marry that boy?! Never!" Akane shot her down.

"Say, whaddya mean, half-girl?!" Ranma asked Kasumi.

"Well, you're a girl half of the time-" Kasumi started to explain her reasoning, while Nabiki looked in shock as Ranma yelled at Kasumi instead of Akane as she remembered.

"No, I am not! I am a guy! All of the time!"

"You really don't look like it now."

"I don't care what I look like!"

"They're already arguing like a perfect couple." Soun joked and both men burst out laughing.

"Us?" Kasumi asked her father surprised. "I don't think you should be so fast to joke about this sort of thing." Addressing Ranma she continued. "And maybe you shouldn't have to choose this fast…" She trailed off when Ranma turned around.

"Goodbye!" He said.

"Where are you going, boy?" Genma asked him.

"Back to China! To find a way to change back for good. This is no time for fiancées."

After that he gave Kasumi another angry look and left the room. His father followed him to explain why he couldn't leave now, while both Akane and Kasumi explained to their father why they couldn't be fiancées. Nabiki tuned out all three monologues. She had heard Akane's and Genma's rants before and Kasumi's would be both reasonable and boring. Nabiki had more important things to think about.

'Why did Ranma attack Kasumi instead of Akane? She had called him a half-girl but last time he only reacted to Akane. Akane has called him a boy. Why didn't she call him a pervert?

'This is worrying. Things have changed and now my perfect knowledge of the future is uncertain. On the other hand, Ranma will still stay here and given Akane's and Ranma's personalities, the old status quo should soon return.'

With that reassuring thought in mind she returned to her room to finish her preparations for the rest of the year. Thoughts of future profits and revenge against idiots like Kinnosuke soon calmed her down and she went to bed.

The next morning started just as she remembered it. When she left for school, she heard Genma telling Ranma that he would go to school starting today and his brilliant counter.

"School?"

"Well, we are going to be staying a while." Genma answered.

"It's the same school me and Akane go to." Nabiki cheerfully explained walking by the room. "We'll see you there."

"Nabiki, wait! I'll go with you!" Akane called from behind her.

"What're you talking about? Ranma's your fiancé, remember? You should walk him to school."

"Right now, he is nobody's fiancé. Kasumi could walk him there."

Nabiki blinked at that answer but decided to just go ahead. Akane stayed with her and soon they were joined by Ranma who had managed to catch up.

After a few minutes of terse silence, Nabiki decided to start a conversation. "So, when will you choose Akane?"

After a sideways glance to the youngest Tendo sister, he answered curtly. "I am not choosing anybody."

"Oh, so what were you two doing all alone?" Nabiki needled him.

Ranma hesitated only a second before answering. "We sparred. I won."

"I wonder what Kuno will-"

"That idiot has got nothing to do with it! I will never date him or any other of those stupid guys!" Akane interrupted her loudly.

"Who's Kuno?" Ranma asked the obvious question.

"He's just some idiot at school."

"Oh, please tell him the whole story."

"That stupid imbecile asked me out for a date. I told the arrogant ass "No" and that retarded son of a principal thought that I wanted to play hard to get and told the whole school that they had to defeat me before they could date me! And now each morning there is that mob of idiots trying to rush me! And after they're finished, Kuno tries his luck! I hate men!" Akane had talked herself into a rage telling the story.

"So, you can defeat them all? And they don't give up?" Ranma asked.

"Yes! Do you think I can't do that?"

"Nah. I just wonder if you only hit them in the head or something."

"Ha! That might actually make them smarter."

"A real clue by four, eh?" Ranma grinned.

"What?" Akane asked irritably.

"Oh, I guess they only make that joke in Osaka."

In the meantime they had arrived at school and the usual fight began. Nabiki went around it, while Ranma waited for Akane. She arrived in her classroom just in time to see Kuno attacking Ranma. One of her factors informed her of Kuno's new self-made nickname. "Do you think he will get another name soon?"

"No, this one's just melodramatic enough that he will keep it." She answered automatically, thinking about Ranma and Akane. 'Those two still get along better than they should, maybe I should do something about it. Hah, it's just a matter of time before Saotome screws up and they start fighting like always.'

The fight between Ranma and Kuno was as impressive as it was short. After Kuno had destroyed a wall and Ranma had scribbled on his forehead, there was a second exchange of blows and Kuno was unconscious on the ground. Akane touched Ranma at his torso, which made him visibly wince and then they walked inside. A couple of minutes later it began to rain, waking the unconscious boys on the ground.

After he returned from the nurse's office with a bandage covering his forehead, Kuno was again easily convinced of Akane's engagement and ran off just before the end of class. Just minutes afterwards, she heard glass shatter and when the students looked outside they saw Ranma standing on the court while Kuno was lying face-first in the dirt.

Akane told her later how they got there. "This is all your fault, Nabiki! If you hadn't told him about the stupid engagement, this never would have happened! We were just sitting in the classroom, when Kuno burst in and cried how he would never allow the engagement! As if he had any say in that! That arrogant ass! Then he throws some water at Ranma and nearly changes him! And then he attacks him with his bokken, destroys a window and he almost hit Sayuri! At least Ranma had some sense and jumped out of the window to lure him away." She hesitated for a second and yelled. "He jumped out of the window!"

"You realize that just now?" Nabiki asked her, sitting on Akane's bed.

"The whole thing was just so crazy! If anything had happened to Sayuri… I've got to stop this whole thing somehow. This has gone too far."

The following day, a challenge letter addressed at Ranma arrived at the Tendos.

"Kick his ass!" Akane demanded. "Make sure he can't walk for the rest of the week! No, the month! The rest of the year! Until we've left school!"

"You're getting really blood-thirsty there, sis." Nabiki commented with her usual smile.

"After what he nearly did to Sayuri, he has to be stopped."

"I would've thought that you would like to take care of revenge."

"Ranma is much better than me. And Kuno can still fight him. Only Ranma can take care of him before something else happens." Akane answered solemnly. "If only I had more time to train, then I could take him."

"That could take a couple of years." Ranma commented matter-of-factly.

"Well, it would take a couple of years for you to catch up on my notes in school." Akane answered snippily.

Inwardly, Nabiki rejoiced hearing that tone of voice. 'Ranma would never really cripple Kuno and afterwards they will continue to aggravate each other and in a month at the most, they will be just like before.'

Nabiki didn't bother to go to the duel at Sunday, she was busy developing the photos she had made of the 'shameless' female Ranma during the weekend. 'It shouldn't take long until Kuno meets the pig-tailed girl. It will be nice to have some photos ready.'

The next morning she saw the hentai horde telling Ranma and Akane that they would stop attacking her, while a mummy in a Kendo uniform tried to protest. 'Yes, everything is happening just like before.'

One week later, Ryoga arrived to challenge Ranma. True to form, he got lost again. Ranma remembered the tale of the bread feud at his old school and to Nabiki it still sounded as stupid as ever.

Another week later, they had their duel. Akane interfered again and Nabiki made a pretty penny by betting on that particular outcome. The only change was that Akane didn't get a new haircut.

Yet another week later they had one more guest during breakfast.

"What is he doing here?" Nabiki asked.

"Well, I owe him the chance for a rematch." Ranma answered.

"And why does he have to eat with us?"

"It would be impolite not to invite him." Kasumi explained.

"Hey, I could pay." Ryoga offered.

"I thought you want to make me pay, Ryoga." Ranma smirked.

"Hmpf. You only won this morning because you got lucky."

"How about I give you another chance during lunch break? You will just have to go to school with us."

Ryoga took the opportunity to fight him at lunchtime. And the next opportunity before dinner. And the next morning again. He followed Ranma to school, sat down in the classroom, listened and learned. Every day. For the next three months. And then it only ended because Ryoga got lost during the summer holidays.

It played real havoc with Nabiki's betting. At first people still thought Ryoga had a chance. Then they did only bet how long it would take Ranma to knock him out. Then they would just bet on the number of hits. And finally they would only bet how long it would take until Ryoga gave up.

Other things happened during these three months, too.

* * *

'Looks like P-chan is looking for Akane.' Thought Nabiki as she saw the black piglet walking through the corridors of the Tendo mansion. 'A good chance to play nice.' She picked up the piglet by its yellow neckerchief and knocked at Akane's door.

"Yes, what is it, Nabiki?" Akane asked as she opened the door.

"I found your little pet pig." Nabiki answered and Akane's eyes widened at the sight of it.

"My… pet? Ah, of course, my pet pig! Haha! Thank you, Nabiki." Akane stammered, grabbed the piglet and closed the door.

'How very odd.' Nabiki thought to herself. 'But not my problem.'

During dinner that evening she noticed that Akane and Ranma gave her odd looks and snickered sometimes, while Ryoga seemed to be ashamed of something.

* * *

CRASH! Came the noise from Akane's room. Nabiki looked up to see somebody flying out of the window. Ranma and Ryoga had been in the garden making some cool-down exercises after they had finished their martial arts rhythmic gymnastics training with Akane. She had been asked to defeat the honor of Furinkan by the team that had fallen to Kodachi's ambushes. Nabiki had been watching the exercises in the hope of making a couple of photos showing both boys without their shirts that some of her costumers had been asking for. And for photos of both boys fighting shirtless.

Ranma jumped up to catch the victim of Akane's wrath, but the combined movements of his jump and the victim's flight made them land in the pond. Nabiki went closer seeing that apparently Ranma had managed to catch Kodachi in a bridal carry.

'Looks like Akane got a lucky hit in.' Nabiki thought. 'Well, with Kodachi's hate of Ranma-chan this should at least lead to a couple of amusing photos. In a couple of days she will be defeated by her in the fight and photos that prove that she owes her should make some good blackmail material.'

"Oh, uh, hi, Kodachi." Said Ranma in his, or rather in the moment her, usual eloquent manner.

"Ah, you are the one who stopped me from punishing those naughty girls from Furinkan." Kodachi observed. "It seems that I owe you for saving me from injuries by the fall."

"Looks like Akane aimed for the pond, so ya should have been safe." Ranma paused for a second. "I mean as safe as you can be flying through a window."

"But I owe you at least for saving me from falling into this dirty pond water." Kodachi insisted looking straight into Ranma's eyes.

"It was nothing." Ranma blushed and started to walk out of the pond with Kodachi still in her arms. Ryoga watched in fascination, while Nabiki shot a photo of the scene.

"Still, such gallantry deserves to be rewarded." Kodachi cupped Ranma's face with both hands and moved from Ranma's motionless arms and stood in front of the slightly smaller girl. Ranma blinked at her and made unintelligible sounds.

"Indeed." Kodachi answered those sounds and kissed the female Ranma full on the mouth. Ryoga fell unconscious from sudden nasal bloodloss.

Nabiki frantically shot photos. 'These should sell like hotcakes after the fight!' She thought with Yen-signs in her eyes.

Disturbed by the flashlights, Kodachi stepped back from Ranma and scrutinized Nabiki. Then she smiled and jumped on the wall around the mansion. "Let us meet again, my dear! Ohohoho!"

Ranma still hadn't moved when Akane arrived.

"What is it with you! How could you let her kiss you!" Akane berated the cursed boy.

"But we were both girls." Ranma said still as wide-eyed as before.

"I think this was her first kiss." Nabiki smirked. She knew it was Ranma's first kiss since they hadn't met Sanzennin yet.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Akane protested and hesitated. "It wasn't, was it?"

"And it looks like she hasn't heard of yuri before." Nabiki wasn't surprised at the lack of sexual knowledge. Ranma had been raised by Genma Saotome, who had left his very attractive wife for more than ten years.

Meanwhile a recovered Ryoga had stepped in front of Ranma and waved his hand in front of the still stunned girl's eyes. "Hey! Somebody in there?"

"Kodachi must be some kisser to get that effect. Don't get jealous, Akane." Nabiki commented.

"I am not jealous!" Akane protested and looked in the direction where Kodachi had vanished. "Pervert."

'Looks like Ranma will always get his first kiss as a girl.' Nabiki thought 'The fight between those two will be really interesting.'

The next day, after they had finally brought Ranma back from the land of the kissed, Akane was berating him for overreacting like that on the way to school. He didn't defend himself at all and only glanced at Akane, blushing like mad.

"You let her kiss you! What were you thinking?" Ranma didn't answer and Akane asked: "And what are you thinking about now?"

"About girls kissing girls, I'd bet." Nabiki threw in. Ranma became even redder.

Akane blushed too and looked at Ranma and Nabiki. "Oh, you… and you… Gah!" She turned and went ahead.

'These guys have it sooo bad.' Nabiki thought observing the two. 'It will never work out.'

When they arrived at the school Kodachi ambushed Akane with a mallet, but Akane grabbed it and used it to throw Kodachi away. Afterwards Kodachi didn't spare a second look for the male Ranma, when she noticed Nabiki and approached her.

"I remember you. You made some photographs of myself and that other girl."

"Yep. Would you like a set? 5,000 Yen for five photos."

"Indeed, I would like that. Deliver it to the Kuno mansion."

"Delivery is 5,000 yen extra." Nabiki was shocked but her business sense was able to operate her mouth independently from the rest of her brain.

"That does not matter. Since you were there, what is the name of the girl?"

"Ranma Saotome." Nabiki answered, trying to bait her asking and paying for more information.

"A rather uncouth name, but fitting I would say. Farewell. Ohohoho!" With that she jumped over the wall of the schoolyard, leaving the customary black rose petals in her wake.

'Yes, that will be a very interesting match when Ranma-chan replaces Akane. Never knew she swung that way, though. Maybe she's just experimenting. Or she likes to have some fun.'

At the day of the match Ranma hadn't replaced Akane, because her sister hadn't twisted her ankle as Nabiki remembered from the original training. She won by hitting Kodachi with a cooperative black piglet on a chain and...

"That was an awesome trick, Akane!" Ranma beamed as they walked home.

"Oh, shut up." Akane grumbled.

"No, really. I couldn't have feinted any better."

"I said, shut up."

"Stepping on the ball like that looked painful, though."

"You know that it wasn't a trick! Now help me walking!"

"Sure, sure. But if we practice that some, it could be a really good move."

"Idiot."

Nabiki had a lot of losses that day. At least Kodachi was interested in buying some of the more tasteful pictures of Ranma-chan.

* * *

"You gave up?" Nabiki asked her sister incredulously. She had seen the martial arts figure skating match against the Golden Pair of Kolkhoz High and still couldn't believe it.

"After the Goodbye Whirl? It sounded like Ranma had broken every bone in his body! It was terrible! Now help me looking for him! There was this Chinese girl and she broke into the locker room and…"

"Yes, but what about the cup? And your pet?"

"Ryoga can take care of himself. I bet that klepto has forgotten him already!" Akane looked around. "Hey! There he is!"

"Hey, Saotome. Why are you in your female form?"

"I went to the toilet and they had only cold water when I washed my hands. Who cares?" She answered while they walked to the Tendo mansion and jumped over a lampshade that someone had left on the street. "Have you seen Shampoo?"

"No. Who is she anyway?" Akane asked suspiciously. "She is cute."

"Are you blind? She was trying to kill me!"

On their way home, Ranma told them the sordid tale of the stolen first prize and the kiss of death.

A couple of days later, Nabiki listened to the couple discussing what had happened.

"That was kind of mean what you did to Shampoo." Akane complained.

"Well, I sure don't wanna marry into a village with those kind of traditions. Who knows what else they kill for."

"You were very convincing when you said that you are really a girl."

"Thanks!"

"That wasn't a compliment."

"Huh? I don't get what ya mean."

"Do you really think you're a girl?"

"No! Sheesh, have you never heard of acting?"

"You… you jerk!" Akane screamed at him and left him clueless.

'Yep. It will never work between those two.' Nabiki thought once again. 'Looks like nearly everything is as it was. Now I only have to get rid of Hibiki.' She glanced at the lost boy at the table. 'Is that a metal choker? Kinky.'

* * *

"What is Ranma's weakness?" Asked the pale boy.

Nabiki thought about it. 'Can't remember seeing the guy before. But I think Kuno will try his cat attack the next couple of days.' In the original timeline Ranma's odd behavior and the kiss had been the talk of the school and Nabiki had gathered the truth from Kasumi and Akane, but she hadn't had a lot of opportunities to sell it, since the following day the rumor mill was busy with Shampoo's return. 'Looks like it's time to recoup my losses.'

"I'll tell you, but it'll cost you."

The pale boy shrunk back. "I… I am ready to pay any price."

"500,000 Yen."

"What?" He squeaked. It sounded like he wanted to protest, but his voice betrayed him.

Nabiki just smiled at him.

"I… I'll have to ask someone so he can give me the money."

"That is all right, but you will have to tell him that the prize just doubled."

Hikaru Gosunkugi stared at her in disbelief.

"If someone gives you the money he will want the information, too. Both of you will know Ranma's weakness and both of you have to pay for it." She answered the unspoken question. He just left and returned a short time later with the money. Nabiki made a big production of counting the money and thought that she should have asked for more.

* * *

'Finally Hibiki got lost.' Nabiki thought returning from the summer holiday at the beach. Betting on the final outcome in the melon race had earned her some cash. The pictures of Ranma-neko-chan were amusing to her but a lot of the boys would pay for photos of a female Ranma on Akane's lap. But now that the Chinese contingent had arrived and everything was predictable again, it was time to make some serious money.

Nabiki thought it was too bad that Kuno had never met Ranma-chan before the events surrounding the cat's tongue pressure point and since then he must have heard about the curse after Ranma had told the whole school. With the whole truth in the open, she hadn't been able to tell him some half-truths to trick him again and hadn't made one yen of him for pictures of Ranma. At least the rest of the school was still filled with hormone-crazed boys and she had more photos to sell this time.

* * *

Nabiki was irritated. Happosai was due today and there was no sign of him, despite all the silly omens that had predicted his arrival. She didn't miss the old goat but she missed the opportunity of looting his treasures, some of them were really useful like the love pearl bracelet – people would pay a fortune for the lifetime pill, the ancient moxibustion point chart – Ranma would do everything for a copy, and the recipe for the super-soba – there were a lot of men who wouldn't mind being super-strong and having a beard. Happosai would blame the parents and Ranma for his losses as he always did.

Also, Ryoga was back.

"Did something interesting happen today?" Asked Kasumi as she always did during dinner.

An irritated Akane answered: "There was this tiny old pervert grabbing girls when we were out running. I kicked him into orbit and he yelled my name. I wonder how he knew me."

"Really? That's strange, there was a tiny old pervert grabbing girls when I bought the fish for Kasumi-san in Osaka, too. I punched him and he flew south in direction of Hokkaido."

"They have a Nerima Fish Market in Osaka, too? How interesting." Kasumi added remembering the name on the wrapping.

"Looks like it." Ranma smirked. "Anyway, it looks like a plague of tiny old pervs, cause one tried and grabbed me when I was out getting some snacks and I punted him right into the Pacific."

"Is something wrong, father?" Kasumi asked. "You and Mr. Panda look so pale."

"How can you tell with pops?" Ranma asked looking at his panda-shaped father who was lying on his back and playing with a beach ball.

'Guess, the old goat will be a couple of weeks late.' Nabiki thought to herself. Happosai always came back.

* * *

'At least that stupid Dojo-Destroyer is on time and Shampoo offered the instant spring of drowned man powder again. Hmm. This kind of timing is suspicious. Well, it won't interfere with my plans.'

Making a betting pool for Akane's fight was easy, her parents had already made sure that everyone knew about the fight when they asked for Ranma's help. Her other scheme had needed a patsy to spread another rumor connected to Shampoo's demonstration earlier that day.

"I heard people say you can make sure that Ranma keeps his curse?" The patsy had asked her overly loud during one class of quiet study as she had ordered.

"What a nasty rumor. I wouldn't do that to my future brother-in-law even if people paid me a hundred thousand yen."

There were so many boys crazy for Ranma's girl-form that she found the money in her shoe locker at the end of the school day. 'Maybe I should repeat that I wouldn't do it even for that kind of money? Nah, they're too stupid to get it.'

* * *

Even without Happosai, Ranma and Akane's version of 'Romeo and Juliet' was still a hoot and a half. And people paid good money to meet China the actor in the Tendo Dojo.

* * *

'Another disappointment. Just because Ranma and Akane talk with her, Ukyo gives up on the idiot? At least I got some money for selling Genma's favorite tricks and his routine so she can beat him up regularly. I am not sure if he knows the hell's cradle already, though.'

* * *

'Mousse's back and Happosai isn't? Damn. I have already arranged an auction for a Lifetime Love Pearl and canceling that would cost me some of my reputation. And more important, money!'

* * *

"Wishing Sword, bring back Happosai."

"Granted."

'I believe I've just made the greatest mistake of my life.' Thought Nabiki.

* * *

'Getting rid of the old perv is just too easy. Simply sew that women-repelling herb patch to his clothes in the wash, wait until he keels over and mail him to Antarctica.' Nabiki smiled to herself. 'Who would've thought the dragon whisker would bring me more money than the love pearls and the umbrella of love?' Nabiki looked at the photo in her hand that was shot after Ranma had heard that his hair had stopped growing. 'Ranma's face is a picture for the gods. I wonder if Kuno would like to buy a copy? Too bad there wasn't enough time to wait for Happosai's revenge and the underwear photos Ranma has made because of that. But selling the original Moxibustion chart was just too profitable. At least I got some photos of Ranma-chan in her iron corset and lingerie from her time with the Chardins.'

* * *

'She saw him change when he fought Taro? And she accepts that it's just a curse? I've made so many plans to get money and photos from Ranma! And now she just accepts him? How can Mrs. Saotome do that to me? Why did Taro have to be so late?'

* * *

'Okay, it looks like Ranma missed Herb because he moved back to his family's house. There was no Mirror Clone to exploit, because they didn't train in the valley with the Mirror Mansion. Hibiki didn't find those age mushrooms. And they haven't met Kumon, because Mrs. Saotome didn't went shopping with Ranma-chan. Damn. So many profits lost. At least I've figured it out and things make sense again. And I got some money betting during his public fights with Akane while she had the magic dogi.'

* * *

"Welcome to the Tendo dojo. Please leave your gifts with me." Nabiki greeted the arriving guests who had hoped to see the marriage of the two teenagers. Instead they saw the remains of the fight between Genma, Ranma, Ryoga and Mousse for the water from the Spring of Drowned Man, the attacks from Kuno and Shampoo who wanted to stop the marriage and Ukyo's and Konatsu's latest ambush to punish the panda on the day of his son's marriage. Super-Taro and Rouge had come in fighting from above, destroying the roof, and Ryu Kumon had made a hole in the last undamaged wall searching for Genma.

'Looks like some things never change.' Nabiki smirked. 'All in all it this repeat has been nice enough. Not as profitable as I would have liked it, but who cares. Well, it won't happen again.'

Then she frowned. 'I guess I have to keep an eye on Ranma to make sure he won't do whatever he has done to send me back in time again.'

* * *

Why are things different? The last panel on page 24 of chapter 1 of the manga might give you the answer.

Well, this is more a "Character travels into the past to fix it" fic (without the "fix it" part) than a "time loop" fic, which deal with characters who've had at least a couple of hundred repeats.


	5. Unsorted Loops

**Ranma's Fused and FUBARed Loops**

**18**

"What I want to know is," Ranma grumbled walking away from the still smoldering rocket, "why do I always get the suckiest superpowers during these loops." He still remembered his Perry Rhodan loop where he had the mutant power to tell the exact time despite time dilations and time travels. An ability that saved them at most five minutes of computing during their many adventures. Total. Still, 20,000 years of extra-terrestrial martial arts from thousands of other galaxies were interesting and wrestling with Icho Tolot during his Urge-Cleansings had always been a blast.

"What are you complaining about? You get to be super-strong and super-tough." Ichigo shot back, contorting his now very flexible fingers into a bird.

"I have been super-strong and super-tough before! I don't need some orange rock skin for that!" Ranma grumbled louder. It wasn't like he had a choice to do anything else with his voice.

"Well, at least it should help you with your vow of chastity."

"Not by choice! That's different. It's not like anyone would like to look at my little orange thing now."

Ichigo shuddered. "Promise to never mention it again and I will help you to become human."

"Deal." Ranma agreed. "Ow! Usagi! Did you just pinch my butt?"

"Heehee! Invisible force fields are a scream!" Came Usagi's voice from seemingly nowhere, far out of reach of her target. Being invisible had its advantages. "As soon as we are home I will find a way to create them with my normal powers!"

"Bwahaha!" Laughed the burning Naruto flying over them. "If Sasuke 'Mr. Uchiha-have-fire-in-their-blood' could see me now he would explode with envy!" He hesitated and threw a fireball at the strawberry blond. "Hey! Why do you get to be the nutty professor, Ichigo?"

"I will have you known that I was one of the best students in class even before the loops, unlike present company."

"Talking of company," Naruto wondered, "Do you think Harry is in this loop, too?"

"Don't you know anything about this universe?" Ichigo questioned his fellow Anchor. "We are the Fantastic Four and he is European and has a scar in his face. It's obvious if you think about it. There is only one place he could be."

Meanwhile in Latveria…

"Ahahaha! Soon the world shall tremble before the might of Professor Potter!" Harry hesitated. "Doctor Potter? Doctor Harry Potter? Damn, that really only works if your real name sounds evil."

**

* * *

19**

"So why did you do it?" Ranma asked as the four Anchors gathered in the training hall away from the fathers.

"I just wanted to get out of that loop! Dealing with three Chiba brothers was just too annoying!" Usagi answered.

"So you did it to get away from three Tuxedo Masks."

"Can you imagine getting three annoying speeches per youma you destroy? And they were worse during my duels with Yoiko-chan!"

"So that's why you blew up Jusenkyo."

"Yes." Usagi looked away and harumphed.

"And did I ever tell you that was a bad idea?" Ranma asked in a dangerous tone.

"Maybe…" Usagi forwarded.

"Well, I blame you for everything else that happens during this loop. And I am sure Ichigo and Naruto feel the same."

Five minutes earlier in the Tendo's living room…

"Hot! Hot! Hot!" Usagi cried out loud, when she was doused by hot water.

"Well," Soun Tendo addressed the still steaming young blond man, "your problem isn't that bad, Usagi." He patted the Jusenkyo cursed boy's shoulder and held his arm out to the other side of the table. "These are my three daughters: Ichiko, Naruko and Ranko. Choose one and she will be your fiancée."

"Do I have to decide now? Maybe I could spend some time with each of them, before I pick one." 'He' winked at the sitting 'girls'.

"It looks like Harry got lucky during this loop." Naruko grumbled under her breath.

Meanwhile somewhere else in Japan…

"Harri kill Usagi-girl!" Announced a buxom Chinese girl with glasses and a small scar on her forehead.

* * *

AN: Originally, I only gave them telepathic abilities so they could talk in front of the parents without them noticing. Then it occurred to me I could just let that dialogue happen after their introduction.

Yoiko is, of course, a female Ryoga.

**

* * *

20**

Ikari Shinji didn't have anything special planned for this loop. After arriving in Tokyo-3 he wanted to wait until inspiration struck him. That was of course before he saw a giant-sized Ranma instead of Sachiel walking in direction of the Geo-dome. Just before Misato arrived, he roof-jumped on a house in front of the confused looking pig-tailed giant who was busy fighting off VTOLs.

"Ranma!" Shinji hoped he was loud enough to be heard.

"SHINJI? IS THAT YOU? WHERE ARE YOU?" Apparently he was.

"I am down here!"

Ranma bowed down to the roof where Shinji stood. "WHY ARE YOU SO SMALL?"

"I am not small! You are big! You are an angel!" It seemed like Ranma didn't get enough oxygen to think straight in this form.

"AN ANGEL? WELL, I WILL JUST GO OVER THERE AND…"

"No! That's bad! Go back where you came from!"

"OKAY." Ranma looked around puzzled. "WHERE IS THAT?"

"Just follow the destruction!"

"OKAY. BYE, SHINJI."

'Well, that was close.' Thought Shinji 'Now I will only have to explain to pops why the angel knew me by name and how I could convince him to turn back…'

"Hey, Ichigo!" Ranma's voice was still very audible even though he was hidden behind a mountain range.

"Hey, Ranma!" Came Ichigo's voice from the same direction. Judging from the volume, it sounded like he was angel-sized, too.

"Where are you going?"

"That direction."

"Nah, Shinji says not to."

"Oh, okay. Hey, Usagi."

"Hi, guys." It seemed that a giant Usagi had joined the other two angel replacements. "Could you just let me through, I need to go there."

"Nah, Shinji says not to." Ichigo repeated Ranma's advice.

"It looks like we're angels this loop." Ranma added.

"Well, it's a change from wizards." Usagi commented. After a Hogwarts loop followed by a Nanoha loop and a Negima loop even magic became sort of boring.

"What do you think will the normal humans do?" Ichigo asked.

"I don't know. I hope they don't try to disguise the Evangelions as one of us. That would be creepy." Answered Ranma who had the most experience with really stupid ideas.

"Dam it!" Shinji heard Misato comment the dialogue. Apparently she had already started making plans.

"We could go there and help them somehow." Usagi suggested.

There was a long pause and the sound of two incredulous looks.

"Oh, on second thought, let's not go to Tokyo-3. It's a silly place." Usagi conceded.

Shinji briefly wondered what the opposite of this loop would look like – human-sized angels instead of the anchors during their normal loops – and then relaxed. This loop would be much easier than the one where Ranma had replaced Gendo. Gendo's normal intimidating pose plus that infuriating smirk could really make anyone's blood boil.

* * *

AN: For anyone who's wondering, an incredulous look sounds like o_O

**

* * *

22**

I blame Nanya for this one, while Nanya blames PCHeintz72 and TenguPhule. Ultimately, it's all Innortal's fault - he started this mess.

* * *

Ranma had developed a lot of other senses than the common five to identify people in answer to beings who were able to change their body in the blink of an eye. Most of those senses were based on the perception of various energies generated by the person and he was able to discern the new arrival's identity immediately, even though his outward appearance and behavior had changed notably.

The blue police box behind him was a big clue, too.

Despite their English member Harry Potter it had taken the Anchors some time to find out what a police box even was. Apparently, most of them had been removed before the boy-who-lived was born.

"You!" Ranma yelled at the lanky man with the incredibly long scarf. "You knew what was going to happen!"

"Of course I did." Answered the Doctor. "But just for clarity's sake, what exactly was it that I knew was going to happen?"

"The damn time-loops, of course!" Ranma grabbed his scarf, and the little robot at the Doctor's side made threatening noises.

"Down, K-9." The Doctor said to his side. "Good boy. Now which time-loops are those? Since you know me, I think you can imagine that I've encountered quite a few in my illustrious career."

"The ones that were started when you tried to delete the bug in Yggdrasil's system of course. You messed up and the time-loops started. I told you all about it the last time we met."

"Be a chap and tell me what I looked like and what I was wearing when you told me about them. I am sure it will considerably help me to remember."

"You were not so tall, had short hair, and you wore a leather jacket."

"Short hair? A leather jacket? Well, I haven't regenerated into that form yet."

"You what?" Ranma twitched. "Wait… yet?" He checked his opposite's vitals again. "You're younger than before! And you're a time traveler! That means I haven't told you yet, I mean, I have but you haven't heard it yet and if I kill you now…" Ranma looked angrily down to the side, mentally discussing the morality and causality of slaying a time traveler before he gave him the motive for his murder.

Just before he decided to do it anyway, he heard a "Vworp! Vworp! Vworp!" sound and saw the police box vanishing. The Doctor had chosen the better part of valor and Ranma stared at the scarf in his hand.

"That means… he came to me and offered to fix the loops because I told him that he would. And he messed up because I told him he would." He hesitated.

"That means it's all my fault!" He yelled and hesitated again.

"I shouldn't tell the others about this."

* * *

AN: Ranma meets the Fourth Doctor here and I chose the Ninth Doctor for Nanya's loop, both because of their easily describable clothes.

**

* * *

23**

It was yet another fused Konoha loop and it seemed that this time the Anchors played the roles of the various Jounin without Genin teams. After a short search, Ranma found the other loopers in one of the aisles of their favorite restaurant.

"Hey, guys. Where's Naruto?" The blond ninja was usually one of the first here and the other four principal Anchors – Harry, Ichigo, Lino and Usagi - were there.

"He's busy in the backroom creating something he calls an 'improved' distillery." Usagi answered grinning. It was still a sore point among the other Anchors that she could drink all of them under the table and Naruto's newest creation 'alcohol++' was yet another attempt to change that. They theorized that her immunity came from her royal ancestors who had to stay sharp during the most boring social events. Only the ones with the highest alcohol tolerances could avoid a deadly faux pas and live long enough to pass down their genes to the next generation.

"Was your last loop that strange, too?" Ranma asked.

"Nah."

"Nothing special here."

"There were those rabid weasels in her bathroom, but that was it."

"Nothing here, either. So, spill it."

"Well, for starters, when I was in my female body there was some kind of presence in there with me. Mostly it tried to act like myself, but there were a couple of clues that it was female."

"A stronger Jusenkyo curse?"

"Yeah kinda, everyone acted more like animals in their cursed form except for pops. As for him – he looked more like somebody in a good panda costume, not a real panda.

"And everyone else looked different than in the normal loops, too. More… Japanese. I can't describe it any better than that. The Tendos looked like they weren't related at all and Akane didn't have those dark blue highlights in her. They were wearing clothes like the people in your loop, Ichigo."

"Well, the people in your loop look like they are stuck in the early nineties while my friends wear modern clothes." Ichigo answered smugly. Ishida had once spent some time teaching him about modern fashion. Normally that wouldn't have stuck but the penultimate Quincy knew how to reach his audience. He had used Orihime as a model.

"Anyway, I decided to play it safe and did most of the things like in the original loop." Ranma continued. "It really helps that I got the manga in that Earth-Prime loop."

Everyone shuddered thinking about that place. It had such screwy physics! Their various internal energies created no light during their use and gravity was all messed up. They didn't have an obvious hero they could one-up with their power, but there were a couple of people that were somehow able to visit the Anchor's home universes and then those visitors mostly stayed in the background. Plus, their architecture was a nightmare for the average roof-hopper. At least they had those Parkour racers who could teach them how to deal with that.

"During my little 'match' with Akane I noticed that gravity was even screwier in this loop. When I jumped with my ki it felt like I was connected to something that pulled me in direction of my jump instead of how it normally feels. And I couldn't use a couple of my moves because my body got in the way."

"Your body was different than normal?" Shinji asked in concern. He hated having different bodies in the weirder fused loops and still had nightmares from that one Digimon loop.

"That's the screwy part. It wasn't." He showed a couple of moves from his family style. "See these? They didn't work in that loop. I had to use moves from other martial arts."

Everybody else was busy testing the moves they had learned from Ranma. After his 'Genma-style' training it was unlikely they would forget them.

"Anyway," Ranma said to get their attention back, "all my moves suddenly created a bit of a light show, something like this." He made a couple of strikes accompanied by some ki-generated blue light that looked like a wave.

"Looks like fun." Usagi commented.

"And every move made a different light. And it changed with the fighter. Akane's moves had some lights that looked like fire," he demonstrated that, "Kuno's kendo techniques had lightning effects and he made metal weapon noises with that wooden bokken of his, Pops had dark green grass-shaped light with the sound of a shishi-odoshi."

Because of Harry's and Lina's questioning looks Usagi explained: "You know, the thing that goes doink."

"Anyway, Ryoga had red lines and the sounds of hooves on stone and Shampoo had purple claw-shaped effect with hissing noises even before she got her curse and so on."

"Must have been fascinating." Lina said.

"You bet! I even sparred with Akane till pops called us to that family meeting."

"Looks like Ranma loves pretty lights." Harry joked.

"That's not true!" Ranma sputtered. "I just wanted to catalogue them to create a martial arts style fitting for that world!"

Everyone laughed at his denial even though they knew that his defense was likely true.

"So, what is the grand unified theory of pretty lights – I mean, martial arts – for that universe?" Ichigo asked smirking.

"'Martial arts moves create light that is most fitting to the user and has the most contrast to the light created by the opponent.'"

"You sound like you quote something. Some kind of Rule of Cool." Usagi commented.

"Yeah, I am quoting myself. I started formulating that after the first Earth-Prime loop. They don't have anything cool like our respective abilities and there has got to be some kind of natural law."

"Given our luck it's probably an unnatural law because we fucked up the universe somehow." Ichigo muttered.

"Hey, our relationships with the kamis are all natural, right?"

Everybody was busy looking to different directions.

"Succubae are natural, too!"

"And so are shinigami! Especially if you are one yourself!"

"It's not like I ever did it with house elves or anything."

"Those youma can't complain. It's a much better way to banish them."

After this insight into the various vices of the Anchors – and who knew that Harry had a thing for demons – Ranma decided to return to the original topic.

"Anyway, there was a big tournament in this loop."

"Sounds like your loop has started to copy any other universe out there. Next you will have some martial arts trainer who will actually teach you instead of challenging you to a fight." Ichigo smirked. Ranma was still envious that he hadn't been in a Dragonballs loop like him and hadn't been at their tournaments yet.

"There's no such thing as a martial arts teacher who trains you directly." Ranma denied. "They started the tournament with an ironman contest."

"Let me guess," Harry interrupted, "you were attacked by guys in powered armour."

"Only during the marathon run. Really cheap suits, too, like the one that Gosunkugi had. Made pretty good explosions though. Nearly lost the race because I was so distracted." Ranma confirmed simply. "During the swim we had some attacks by Andean Vikings and sharks with lasers mounted to their heads. The bicycle race was during rush hour and if there were any surprises there, I've missed them."

"Hey, didn't you change during the swim?" Usagi asked.

"Yeah, I had to stay a girl for most of the tournament. Could only change back during the breaks."

"And after the marathon you could finally fight?"

"Nah, there was a normal traditional Martial Arts Take-Out race" The other Anchors shook their heads. They still couldn't get used to Ranma's universe's definition of normal. "and most of the contestants had powered vehicles, so it looked interesting at least. Rocket-powered skateboards, flying scooters, transforming bicycles, you name it."

"Isn't that kind of cheating?" Lina asked. Coming from a medieval society, she thought she had gotten the hang of sports events with independent referees and rules for fair fights, but she still got a bit confused by them. Lina's universe didn't have many rules for cheating during sport events either. If you were caught by the other team and couldn't escape them, you got beat up.

"How often do I have to tell you – there is no such thing as fairness." Ranma shook his head. This foreign concept still confused him sometimes. He didn't understand why the other anchors insisted that his universe was the exception.

"Then they had a Ghostbusting contest to show that we could fulfill the duties of a Martial Artist. Pretty harmless, actually, they had released some small onis and we had to put them back into their boxes. At least, it was, until PeTO interrupted."

"PeTO?" Ichigo asked. "No, wait, let me guess. People for the ethical treatment of onis?"

"Yep. What, you don't have them in your universes?" After a collective headshake, Ranma asked: "Have I ever mentioned how weird your worlds are?"

"Only every time we mention something weird from your world." Usagi answered for everyone else. "So what did they do?"

"They only set a couple of big onis loose. Nothing that could be dangerous to anyone. You know, a lot of people decided to leave the tournament after that. I wonder if it wasn't a trick by the organizers or something."

"I can't imagine why they decided to leave." Harry commented dryly.

"Me, neither. Anyway, then we had the real fight part of the tournament. The big surprise was that all my rivals and fiancées were still there."

"Even Akane?" Lina asked. What she had learned about Ranma's first fiancée hadn't impressed her at all.

"Even Akane. Looks like she had some help by Pops or someone to keep her afloat during the first part. But I can't figure out how P-chan did it. Anyway, it should have been a piece of cake after all that, but apparently each of the winners-"

"Survivors." Ichigo threw in.

"Winners" Ranma repeated "of the previous parts had their very own style of Martial Arts and extra fireworks and sound effects. It felt like months passed that day. Just after I won the tournament against Herb of all people, the loop was over!"

"Sounds like a really short loop." Harry concluded.

"It felt longer, more like a year!"

"You know," Usagi commented thoughtfully, "when I think about those different physics and how short it was, it seems to me like that one weird loop I had where Luna and Artemis were plush cats and the senshi powers worked differently."

* * *

Inspired by the new live action version of Sailor Moon, I tried to imagine what Ranma 1/2 remade as a live action show would look like. Wireworks, more SFX, the ever popular tournament and no original moves since they can't pull them out of nowhere.

And an actress for Ranma-chan who can't really act as much as the actor for male Ranma as she should. The female actor would naturally be much more popular then the male and Ranma would stay female for most of the tournament to get those viewers.

And they spend so much time on fighting that a whole season depicts only one tournament.

**

* * *

2****4**

Five primarily-colored lights appeared for a brief moment in the dimly-lighted hall full of alien machinery, leaving behind five teenagers in the formerly empty room.

"This isn't exactly a mall, is it?" One of them voiced their confusion from being whisked away from their home city. They wandered around and looked at everything searching for a clue to their predicament.

"This place is magnificient."

"I don't get it. How did we end up here?"

"I just wanna know where here is."

"Maybe the answer is in these controls."

Suddenly a small humanoid being with a disk-shaped head appeared. "No. No, don't touch that." It stumbled and with a "Wah! Waaah!" it fell to the ground.

"A fully sentient fully functional automaton." Said the boy with glasses who had just examined the controls and was now looking at the fallen. "I've never seen anything like it."

"Like, if you've never seen anything like it, how do you know what it is?"

"Yeah, he looks more like a kid in a robot costume."

"Hey, no need to be rude!" The automaton complained. "I am a couple of millennia old, you know!"

Suddenly a blue light was switched on behind them and they heard an impressive voice saying: "Welcome, humans."

"Oh-oh." Was their first reaction to the giant head in the tube.

"So who are you?"

"Like, what are you?"

"I am Zordon, an interdimensional being caught in a time warp." The giant head answered.

"And my name is Alpha 4." Announced the disk-head.

"Excuse me, but could we go back to Earth and pick me up, cause I am totally confused."

"It's quite simple, my dear. This planet is under attack. I've brought you here to save it."

"Oh yeah, right."

"Ah, a non-believer. Look behind you at the viewing globe. Your doubts will be answered immediately as you see it." The teens assembled around the sphere and looked into it. "This is Rita Repulsa, an intergalactic sorcereress who is bent on controlling the universe. With her henchmen and putty patrollers she plans to conquer Earth." Zordon explained the sights in it.

"Umm, that thing just shows some kind of giant space dumpster."

"A space dumpster that is…?" Zordon hesitated and then looked at the robot. "Did you say you were Alpha 4?"

"I sure did, your headness." The disk-head answered with a crisp salute.

"My apologies." Zordon addressed the humans again and explained. "Rita escaped in dimension alpha 5 and the currents between the dimensions have confused me on my way. Your Earth is safe. Alpha 4, shut down. Farewell, humans." The light in the tube dimmed and they heard a faint whisper that sounded like "Curse those eddies." With that, the five teens were once again alone in the room.

"The robot is down."

"And we're still here." They started to looking around once more, this time for an exit.

"Hey, look at that button. It says 'Robot Control.' Maybe we can restart the robot and it will send us back!"

"Good idea! Push the button!"

"Yeah! Push it!"

"Push it real good!"

With a rumble a giant garage door opened and they stared at the contents of an enormous neighboring room.

"Woah! Look at those giant robots!"

"Imagine what we could do with them!"

* * *

In the living room of the Tendo mansion, the assembled family members and guests listened to an embedded reporter who reported live from the ongoing war. "…rise as the New Zealand army tries to retake Dunedin. After the destruction of the so-called T-rex robot, troops have new hope to repel the invaders. Rumors that the pilot was an American teenager…"

'Well, that answers the question what teens would do with giant robots and no enemy.' Ranma thought to himself. This experiment had cost him only a couple of old mechas that were – in his opinion – simply substandard. 'They start a war to get their own nation. I expected something like that. But why the heck did they choose New Zealand to conquer?'

**

* * *

25**

"And now, at last, the game of tag upon which the future of Earth depends is about to begin!" Came the announcement over loud-speaker. The television crews had given their best in the short time to set up both camera equipment and an announcer booth for the event outside of a stadium. It was just a table for two people but it was the thought that counted.

"Let's check in with our color commentator. Mr. Yamada, any observations?" The first announcer asked the fish-like alien with a bubble-shaped glass helmet to his right.

"this is serious!" Was the earnest answer.

"The entire world is watching this event via live satellite!" The first announcer continued.

Ranma stretched a bit on the street to show that he was taking this thing seriously. He was about three meters behind the female alien in the tiger-striped bikini and boots. Lum the Oni looked lazily back at the pig-tailed human.

'hmm… If I win I will be a big hero.' Ranma thought, preparing himself for the race. 'Being a hero of international renown will be an interesting change. Funny, how us Anchors always have our adventures outside of the press.'

Finally a referee walked up to the contestants and raised his starter pistol to the air. "On your mark!" Both followed the order. "Get set!" The rather small audience was silent.

Bang! Came the shot from the pistol.

"Yay!" Came the cry from the audience releasing their tension.

Silence! Came next from everyone.

Finally a random spectator was able to put the sight into words: "What? Ranma has caught Lum!"

Indeed, the pig-tailed teen was standing right behind the cute alien grabbing both of her horns. The contest was over. Ranma had won. Earth had been saved from the alien invasion.

"That's it?" Came the disappointed cry from the audience.

"I… lost?" Lum whispered. Then she fell to her knees and cried.

"Now, now don't cry. " Crying girls were still Ranma's weak point. "I am sorry. You will do better next time!"

"Really? You think so?" Lum looked at him with tear-filled eyes. "Can we try again now?"

The dreaded puppy-eyes technique! Ranma just opened his mouth to agree when Akane interrupted.

"No! Ranma won fair and square! Now get away from her, you pervert!" She yelled. Luckily for him, he had the Jealous Fiancée counter-technique. It wasn't very dignified, but the one thing the Saotome Family school of Martial Arts didn't teach was dignity.

Meanwhile, the reporters were talking to Lum's father.

"So, Mr. Invader, just for curiosity's sake, what would have happened if Mr. Saotome had lost the race?"

"Well, you people would have become subjects of the Oni empire and would have had to pay tribute in form of thirty pulkants a year." Answered the giant oni in the tiger-striped suit..

"Ah… what is a pulkant?"

"It's the product of a hyper-space drive that is idling for a year."

"We don't have any hyper-space drives."

"Then we would have given you the technology to build them, of course. You do have fusion power plants to create the necessary hydrogen plasma, right?"

"No, we don't."

"I see. Well, we would have given you that technology, too."

"So, we would have to build thirty spaceships and let them run idle for a year to create the tribute, is that correct?"

"Indeed."

"What else would we have happened?"

"What do you mean, what else? You would pay tribute. What else would we need from you?"

"Would we be allowed to build other spaceships using those hyperspace drives?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"So, in summary, if Mr. Saotome had lost, we would have had to build and run thirty spaceships–"

"Only the drives and the power plants, actually."

"Thirty hyper-space drives to pay our yearly tribute, but we would have gained the technology for fusion power plants and the hyper-space drives."

"Exactly. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to console my daughter. She must be devastated by the loss."

"Well, this was possibly the worst victory in the history of mankind. I dare predict that the words 'Saotomean Victory' will both replace and surpass the words 'Pyrrhic Victory' in the future. Mr. Saotome's place in history is secured, but I doubt he will enjoy his newfound infamy."

"Hey!"

* * *

AN: The crossover is "Lum, the Invader Girl" also known as "Those Obnoxious Aliens" or "Urusei Yatsura" in the original version. It's Rumiko Takahashi's science-fiction romantic comedy that she had created before Ranma 1/2. You should really check out the series.

**

* * *

27**

"They put your little hands in mine…" Ranma woke with a start to the sound of that song coming from the clock radio. He scanned his surroundings and found that he was in what looked like a bedroom in an old fashioned American house. Judging from the condensed windows it was winter outside. He got out of the bed and searched his clothes for some kind of ID and found an American driver's license that identified him as Phil Connors.

In the meantime the song had ended and two DJs had started blathering.

"But you know, there's another reason why today is especially exciting." This sonded like a clue for Ranma.

"Especially cold!"

"Especially cold, okay, but the big question on everybody's lips..."

"On their chapped lips..."

'Get to the point, guys…' thought Ranma.

"On their chapped lips, right: Do ya think Phil is gonna come out and see his shadow?"

This surprised Ranma. As far as he could tell his shadow didn't have any magical properties in this dimension.

"Punxsutawney Phil!"

"Thats right, woodchuck-chuckers - it's," Both DJs yelled the last words in unison: "GROUNDHOG DAY!"

Ranma had a bad feeling about this.

**

* * *

2****8**

"Your problem's not so bad," said Nuos, patting Amnar on the back, "these are my three daughters: Imusak, age 19, Ikiban, age 17, and Enaka, age 16. Kick the one out who won't be your fiancée."

Ranma-Amnar stared at the three girls, then their father and finally his own father, all sporting identical goatees.

'I hate backwards Bizarro Mirror Universes.' He thought.

* * *

AN: This is a mix of the Star Trek Mirror Universe, the Bizarroworld of Superman and other "everything is written backwards" morror worlds. " Kick the one out…" - I wanted something that sounded like "Pick one…" just backwards and evil. The names are spelled backwards.

**

* * *

29**

Time for a very short FUBAR loop snippet.

* * *

Once again, Ranma had arrived in the Tendo home and once again, he found that the family had gained new members. He looked at the girls and tried to think of any common traits the new arrivals and the still present Akane might share. The penny finally dropped when their father introduced them.

"It's good to finally meet you, Ranma! May I introduce my daughters? These are Vita, Dokuro, Kaori,and Akane. Choose one and she will be your fiancée." Said the master of the Martial Arts School of Indiscriminate Malleting.

* * *

Vita from Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha A's

Dokuro from Bludgeoning Angel Dokuro-chan

Kaori Makimura from City Hunter


	6. nextWAVE

nextWAVE: Agents of H.A.T.E. Looping Primer

* * *

WELCOME READERS! Welcome to your interactive NEXTWAVE Agents of H.A.T.E. Looping Primer Page. We'll start with a Q and A session:

Q. What is Nextwave?

A. Nextwave is a group of super heroes put together by the Highest Anti-Terrorism Effort (H.A.T.E.)

Q. Wait a second, I thought they were fighting against H.A.T.E.

A. You are correct! You see, Nextwave discovered that H.A.T.E. and its parent company, the Beyond corp.©, were being funded by a terrorist organization when Tabitha Smith (see later answer) stole the Beyond corp.© marketing plan.

Q. Then why is the book called NEXTWAVE: AGENTS OF H.A.T.E.

A. I thought I already answered this question.

Q. We're in an infinite time-loop crossover thingie.

A. Ah, I guess that explains that. Next question!

Q. Who are the members of Nextwave and what are their powers?

A. Monica Rambeau is their leader. She can transform her body into any form of radiation in the electromagnetic spectrum. Aaron Stack is a robot who does robot-y things. Elsa Bloodstone has a magical stone that she wears around her neck that giver her super-strength and invulnerability. And she's English. Tabitha Smith can make things explode and steal all your stuff. The Captain is really strong and can fly, thanks to powers bestowed on him by aliens. He's your hero. For this loop only they are joined by Ranma Saotome. He is a kick-ass martial artist and turns into a girl when hit with cold water.

Q. Who is this Dirk Anger person?

A. He's the leader of H.A.T.E. He's not happy that Nextwave has rebelled. And he once led a campaign against alcohol-free beer.

Q. That's my kind of guy. Why is the Jusenkyo valley suddenly in America?

A. It's a result of the crossover. As a side effect, one million butterflies died of exhaustion.

Q. What's your sign?

A. Ptolemaic or Chinese zodiac?

Q. Chinese.

A. Rabbit. NOW READ THE STORY!

* * *

In a small Chinese café in California, two men and a woman sat around a table and suddenly remembered. One of the men stood up with a sigh.

"Okay, let's just stop the big drill and… where the XXXX are we?" Yelled The Captain - a slightly balding man with large sideburns, wearing a white T-shirt with a black five-pointed star, large combat-style pants and a brown trenchcoat with the Nextwave logo on the right arm – and looked at the two other persons still sitting at the table. The first one was Elsa Bloodstone - a young woman with long red hair in a gravity-defying high ponytail, wearing a red gem in a choker around her neck, a skin-tight navel-free red shirt only slightly darker than her hair, tight pants of the same color, knee-high female boots and a grey trenchcoat with the same logo as The Captain. He sometimes called her a friend but most of the time they were verbal sparring partners.

"I'd say it looks like a village in the Byankalaya mountains in south-eastern China." She answered after a short glance at the architecture and scenery around them and then looked straight at the second man at the table. "Now to the important question: Who the XXXX are you?"

This was directed at a teenaged Japanese boy with black hair in a pig-tail wearing a red silk shirt, leather wrist bracers, baggy silk pants and a grey trenchcoat with a logo like the other two. "The name's Ranma Saotome. Is that your first fused loop? The altered memories should kick in about…" he looked at his left wrist bracer imitating someone looking at a watch, "now."

The Captain blinked. "Okay, all of a sudden you were our team-mate since the beginning and we're working in… the part of California that was originally colonized by Chinese? What kind of XXXX is this!"

"If this is some kind of messed-up mind control thing, dearie," Elsa said dangerously, "then you've quite obviously failed. Spill it Saotome, before I eviscerate you with this teacup." She held the empty delicate porcelain mug in front of Ranma's face

"I've seen her doing it. It isn't pretty." The Captain added.

"I guess you've blown up the Earth or something during your last loop and as a consequence you get to enjoy a repeat that is mixed with my own home universe." Explained Ranma and added with a smile: "Or more probably, I get to enjoy it, while you will run around screaming."

"We've blown up the universe plenty of times and nothing has ever changed." Countered the female monster hunter. "Why should it be different this time."

"Oh yeah, last time I was visiting your universe I found some records in Shi'ar computers about that." Admitted Ranma. "Apparently, your universe was destroyed three hundred fifty-one times in the last dozen years and that's just the times they noticed. I guess you must have done something worse. Maybe you pissed off the wrong Norns, or something?"

"We haven't been to Asgard in ages. Could it be..." Elsa shared a look with The Captain.

"I didn't do anything with the High Celestial Hyper-Cube!" The Captain yelled. "The last one who had it was Tabitha!"

"So she did manage to destroy the whole multiverse like that guy warned us. I guess it explains this." Elsa sighed. "We are in the Byankalaya mountains?" She looked at Ranma.

"Yep, we are in the village of Chinese Valkyries, right next to Jusenkyo. You've been here before?"

* * *

Elsa remembered the day before her sixth birthday. She had been in a plane with her father Ulysses Bloodstone, a white-haired man who was wearing his costumary tight brown pants and loose white shirt, which he left open enough to show the red gem embedded in his chest. They were flying over these mountains, when Elsa asked him the same question for the seemingly hundredth time that day.

"Daddy, where are we going?"

"Elsa, there is an infestation of Chinese vampires in the village below us." Ulysses Bloodstone finally answered. "Here is a chopstick and a blanket."

"A blanket? What do I do with a blanket?" Little Elsa wondered looking at the cloth and didn't notice her father walking to the door. She did hear the door opening and the resulting rush of wind. Before she could react, he grabbed her by the collar and threw her out of the flying plane.

"AAAAAAAAAH!"

"We are about 10,000 meters high and there are some Tibetian Zombies and Vietnamese Werewolves among your targets." The near-immortal monster hunter said standing in the door. "Make me proud, my daughter."

Genma Saotome had nothing on child-rearing compared to Ulysses Bloodstone.

* * *

In the present Elsa looked down and answered. "Yes. I've been here before."

"Chinese Valkyries?" The Captain asked.

"Anyway." Elsa interrupted. "Why are we here?" She asked Ranma. Sensing some nonsensical or philosophical answer coming from the boy, she clarified: "In this town."

"Search me." Ranma answered. "What did the stolen list say? You never told me as far as I remember."

"Ummm." The Captain took a piece of paper out of his pocket. "It's some long Chinese word. Ni-u-ho-man-ma-o-ren-ni-chu-an " He read off the paper. He added helpfully: "That means 'spring of drowned yeti holding an eel and crane while riding an ox.'" After incredulous looks by Ranma and Elsa, he added with a frown. "My generic set of super-powers includes a universal translator. You know that."

"That's not the problem." Said Ranma. "What the XXXX do they want to do with that stuff? And why the XXXX isn't there a skull and crossbones symbol? Way to fail, Microsoft!"

"Seems we won't be the only ones running around screaming." Said The Captain with a smug smile. "But what does Microsoft have to do with anything?"

"Would you mind explaining what this spring is supposed to do?" Elsa asked trying to stay on topic.

* * *

In the meantime, the peace of the skies over the California-Chinese countryside was disturbed by a very strange sight. Under a giant balloon hung four old Chinese submarines with conning towers replaced by giant replicas of Chinese dragon heads. The boats were welded together by steel girders and the whole construct was driven by a giant propeller. This was the the flying headquarters of H.A.T.E. - the Highest Anti-Terrorism Effort.

Inside, five new recruits wearing the tight green uniforms of the organization were greeted by a man in a jumpsuit with a black-colored chest, white-colored torso and white trousers. He was wearing a half-visor over his right eye, metal shoulder-pads, a handgun under his right arm and metal knee-high boots.

"I'm Dirk Anger, director of H.A.T.E." He introduced himself. "And this is my assistant director Ryoga Hibiki – where the XXXX did he go now?"

* * *

In a different part of the flying construct, a little black piglet was running for his life.

"Zis time you will not escape me, mon cher, or my name is not Capot ze Cook-air!" The chef announced and tried to take out the animal with a savate kick.

* * *

"Fine!" Director Anger yelled at the recruits, who could now tell what he had eaten that day. "I can do this better without him, anyway! Who needs an assistant who is missing all day long? I can do my own paperwork!"

He snarled at the recruits. "In fact I can do it even better than him. Have been doing it for sixty years now, thanks to my drugs. My special, special life-extending drugs. And you know what? I will still take those drugs and fight terrorism and do my paperwork after you have retired and died alone in a dirty room in a rat-infested smelly old people's home." He walked up and down in front of the recruits while he continued to rant. "And while you will mumble and try to chew your gruel, I will still cry my orders and eat meat! Raw meat! Ripped directly from the toughest of animals in glorious combat! With my teeth! And then I'll swallow it whole!"

"General Anger, we've located the Shockwave Rider again." Came a calm voice from the intercom.

"Okay. Communications room." Director Anger answered in a normal tone.

After he had left the recruits shared a horrified look among themselves.

In the communications room, General Anger sat down and ordered: "Give me the line to the Shockwave Rider"

A technician connected two tincans with a spiral wire, handed one to the director and left the room with the other one. Finally the wire was taut and the tinny voice of the technician said. "We have a connection."

* * *

Over the Byankalaya Mountains, the Shockwave Rider – an experimental aircraft powered by the inexhaustible human stupidity drive, containing five hammer-spaces, and stolen – was flying in direction of the mountain village of Valkyries. The craft looked like someone had nailed two oversized caged room fans at a big swan potty.

"It's General Anger on the phone, Monica." Said Aaron Stack, a black-haired android wearing a purple jumpsuit and a grey trenchcoat with the Nextwave logo. His sole notable feature were the big red optics that he had instead of eyes. He was talking to Monica Rambeau, an African-American woman with her hair in a dread perm, who was wearing a silver jumpsuit with two circles and two horizontal lines over her chest, and the obligatory grey trenchcoat with the logo. They were in the cockpit of the Shockwave Rider, Aaron sitting at the controls and Monica standing behind him. For some reason the whole aircraft was full of shelves with Chinese souvenirs.

"Finally something normal. I want to know why we are over China, why the Rider now looks like this, why it is full of magic trinkets, why I know that they are magic, why I want to blame Ranma, why I know that Saotome guy and… argh!"

"You mentioned that before." Aaron said evenly.

"Stop doing the emotionless robot act. Nobody's buying it."

"Okay, okay. Damn, I miss my Monica Rambeau LMD."

Monica shuddered. She never should have get the team drunk to talk about what they had been doing after the Civil War in the original timeline. Those interdimensional Zombies were still her main suspects for the reason behind the loops.

"Didn't I tell you to never mention that thing and your atrocities again? Now put me through!"

Aaron simply pushed a button to do that.

"Dirk. It's Monica. Before you ask, Hibiki isn't here. And no, I still haven't met him. Are you even sure you've got an assistant director?" Monica blinked and thought: 'Stupid new memories.'

Apart from that, it was the same old conversation asin their original timeline. Dirk first ordered then asked them to return, and Monica tried to convince him to care that H.A.T.E. got its funding – and consequently – its orders from the Beyond corporation© which had been created by terrorists who now wanted to product-test their Unusual Weapons of Mass Destruction (UWMDs) on the unsuspecting public.

Tabitha Smith had found the blueprint for the tests, the Nextwave squad had left to stop them, and now H.A.T.E. was going to try and stop the squad. And H.A.T.E. had alerted the Beyond corporation©, which in turn would also try and stop the squad.

"Well, that was absolutely pointless." Monica said after they had cut him off.

"It is human to try."

"Stop the all-knowing robot bit. Nobody's buying it."

"I am just trying something new." Aaron answered. "Fleshy one." He added softly.

Monica scowled and looked out of the small left cockpit window. 'What the XXXX is going on here? Repeating was bad enough, but this? I never should have joined this outfit. What was I thinking? Right. Do what mom says or she'll keep complaining.'

* * *

Back in the Valkyrie village, Ranma had finally explained Jusenkyo curses.

"My guess is they want to give all villagers this curse and see what happens." Ranma finished.

"And we can stop all of them with some hot water." The Captain clarified.

"Unless they lock the curse with water from the kettle."

"The locking kettle, right. Anyway, there is still one thing that I don't understand."

"Yes?"

"Why did that monkey look like you?"

'Should I tell them that my mother's Chinese ancestors were Musk from the monkey clan?' Ranma thought and looked at his small audience. "I have absolutely no idea." He replied.

"Anyway," Elsa interrupted "how are they going to give the curse to a lot of people? It's not like everybody is taking a bath at the same time."

"They have organized a swimming event at the local pond and will mix the pond water with the cursed water by dropping a lot of small water balloons into the pond." The Captain answered.

Elsa and Ranma stared at him. The Captain pointed at a poster behind them. It read (in Chinese): "Come one! Come all! Big water balloon fight in the pond! Big prizes! Free swimsuits and trunks! Sponsored by the Beyond Corp.©"

* * *

The people of the village were having fun. Every adult was in the water and wearing one of the free purple clothes, which were according to a tag 'Hulk-tested'.

"Catch balloon! Win game!" announced one of the organizers of the Beyond corp. © who was wearing a red three-piece suit and a white ceramic mask, that looked like someome twisting his lips upwards. "Balloon launch by patented Beyond corporation© water balloon launcher!" He pointed at a big metal contraption with an oversized red lever behind him. "Destroy water balloon is great big fun!" He paused, while the people laughed at his stupid accent and way of talking. "Destroy is not allowed! Haha! Great joke! Haha! I fire you with balloons now!" He finished and pulled the big lever. The big machine rumbled and the announcer started to run. "Running away! Running away! This is my run away song so I do not be big stupid monster!"

Then the air was full of colored balloons. The still laughing people tried to catch them and as anyone could have predicted the balloons burst. No one outside of the Beyond corporation© (and the people who have read this story so far) would have predicted that everyone inside of the pond would change into minotaurs with small wings and eel-shaped tails as soon as the balloons burst. And no one outside of the Beyond corp.© (and the writer and some of the readers of this story) would have predicted that the purple swimming clothes would not come apart.

The purple clothes which were now several sizes too small.

And pinched in very sensitive places.

Accordingly, everyone inside the pond panicked and cried out in pain.

"MOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

"Oh, XXXX." The Captain said.

"AbsoXXXXlutely, darling." Elsa agreed.

"Does that mean you two are a couple?" Ranma asked.

* * *

nextWAVE Looping is a super hero story about six people who have to stop a town full of flying minotaurs. In purple swimsuits.

* * *

Monica had spotted the instant stampede from the cockpit window and alerted her teammate, who was till looking for the flight harnesses among the various littered shelves.

"Aaron!"

"My robot liver needs a transplant."

"You've got replacement parts in there?"

"I wish. Just saying that it starts to tingle when I drink pure gin. Anyway, I am hooked into those cheap Chinese hull cameras and can make out some of what's going on there. I've called Tabby." He had finally found the harnesses and extended his optics to inspect them. The belts were still the same, but the anti-gravity generator now looked like a big bee and would flap the fake wings to move. Other than that it was as good as before.

"Great. Please tell me that the exit pool isn't full of eels or something."

"No, there are just a lot of rubber ducks floating on top of it. Don't touch them."

"Why… I don't want to know, right? Where's Tabby?"

"I'm right here!" Answered Tabitha Smith – the final member of the Nextwave squad, a blonde woman wearing a short red dress and the last grey trenchcoat of this story. "I was on the phone, when you called. What's the problem?"

"Here's your flight harness. We've got a stampede of minotaurs on the ground." Monica answered as she tossed her the article. "Were you talking about the same things again? Sometimes I really wonder if you really remember the past loops, or if you're just playing along."

"Hey, those stories are still as interesting as before." Tabitha fingered the harness and looked at the big bee with obvious distaste

"Interesting as dirt. Now put that thing on, before I throw you out without it."

* * *

On the ground Elsa had picked up her guitar case when she and the other two members of the squad had left the café. They crossed the street to intercept the stampede, when a jeep with four men in red three-piece suits and various white Japanese carnival masks tried to ram Elsa. She effortlessly jumped over the jeep since she had expected the assault. She somersaulted, opened the case, pulled out two uzis and fired at the red suits.

"That's a bit excessive, isn't it?" Ranma asked, when the jeep came to a screeching halt and added under his breath: "Those guys got weird auras…"

"I'm off to work." The Captain announced and took off flying.

"They are pod people." Elsa answered Ranma and opened of the suits to show him the green and black insides. "They were grown and programmed. Hmm. They're leafier than before." She looked at the golden badge on the inside of the suit. "Beyond corp.© Yaocaicun division?"

"Oh, I know those guys." Ranma explained, relieved that he wasn't working with ruthless soldiers again. "They live on the other side of Jusenkyo. They're growing various healing herbs and fighting plants."

"Fighting plants?" Elsa asked and shook her head. "Let's save that for later. We've got some monsters to tame."

"Elsa, this is Monica." Came the voice of the Nextwave squad's leader. "What's going on down there."

"Same procedure as every year." Elsa answered. "Just with added local herbs. Native boy…"

"Who?"

"Saotome…"

"He's with you? I bet this is all his fault."

"No, I think we can thank Tabby for this grand old time. Saotome just told me where the war gardens are this time around."

"Great. So do you know why we've got to deal with a Chinese Pamplona?"

"Short story? Those bulls got a magic curse. Just spray them with hot water and they turn back human."

"Sounds easy."

"Too easy. It might not work according to Saotome." Elsa finished the conversation following Ranma to the oncoming stampede.

* * *

On board of the Shockwave Rider, the squad members had just arrived in the room with the pool filled with a red exotic liquid that allowed the transition between the hammer-space inside the aircraft and the (relatively) normal space outside. Against all experiences of the three, a number of yellow rubber ducks were floating on it, instead of being transported to the outside.

"You've got something to spray those people, Aaron?"

"I've even got something to spay them, if necessary."

"Cut the 'robots have a bad sense humor' act. Nobody's buying it. Tabby: go stop some monsters."

"What'll we do if the hot water doesn't work?" Aaron asked.

"The usual." Monica answered. "Kick them until they explode."

Elsa had jumped through the pool and arrived on the outside in a standard super-hero flying pose - lying and one arm held forward. She pointed two fingers forward and activated her powers.

"tick tick tick" She said and suddenly the hair behind her exploded and propelled her even faster forward than the flight harness alone. "Explode."

She took in the sight of the minotaur stampede as they trampled over everything in their path, be it trees, cars or houses on their mad dash home.

"Oh my god." She exclaimed. "They are all wearing purple underpants."

* * *

AN: To be continued… or not. My inspiration has been MIA for over a year now.

Curses in the Nextwave comic were represented by a row of four skull and crossbones symbols. I haven't found any symbol like it in the various types for word.


End file.
